The Defiant is the single worst part of DS9. DS9 is awful, and a big part of it is the Defiant.
Here we've got a ship that's a brick. Seriously, that's basically what it is, a brick in space. You ask me to describe the Defiant to you, that's all I can come up with. It's a turd. It's a little turd brick and that's about all I can do. The thing looks godawful. What is one of the reasons that people like Star Trek? Well, because Star Trek has beautiful ships. There's an aesthetic appeal that drew me in when I was a boy growing up. The Enterprise is probably the most iconic spaceship in pop culture, god bless Matt Jefferies for his innovation and vision. You look at the Enterprise, and while it might seem a bit impractical, the design itself is unlike anything that we had traditionally thought of as a spaceship. It is not a rocket with fins. It is not a lazy ass giant triangle. It is a saucer connected to a cylinder with a neck and long graceful warp nacelles at the back. That's ingenuity. That is something that we don't see everyday and it looked great and endured through the decades. Starfleet ships have proudly carried on that Jefferies visual aesthetic until the Defiant.
The Defiant just looks terrible. It's got this retarded looking snout up front, with the deflector dish. Only it's not even a dish, it's this weird triangular blue thingy that we've never ever seen before. But they say it's a deflector dish, so whatever. Then you've got the inconsequential warp nacelles on the sides. Except they don't look like nacelles, they're stuck on and basically part of the hull. And uh... there's not much else. You've got the weaponry, but they aren't really displayed either. I've never really seen the phaser cannon ports.
So it looks ugly. Visually, it's a disaster. There's nothing redeeming about the design. But now let's discuss the actual ship.
The actual ship itself, as written, is a fucking joke. It is a joke that is not funny. It strikes me as something that a fanfiction writer on usenet would be embarrassed to show people. This ship is tiny, about the size of four or five runabouts, but apparently is the most powerful goddamn ship in the universe. This ship possesses phase cannons that seem to rip apart battleships in one or two volleys. This tiny ship is portrayed as being as powerful as 2 or 3 Galaxy class starships, apparently. This is a fucking retarded idea. This is idiocy. There is nothing as stupid as this in television history. This is a fanfiction ship. This is something that someone would write as being the hero ship in fanfiction. There is no goddamn way that I am gonna sit and watch a show that employs an ubership that is small, fast, and more powerful then much larger battleships. I don't watch anime. I don't like to watch complete garbage. This ship is an insult to Star Trek.
Why even bother making any regular ships at all? Why do anything but make these ultra powerful pocket battleships that have phase cannons that rip through shields and oh yea... it's got ablative armor, so even if you somehow knock the shields down, there's still not much you can do? This is just retarded. The ship is insanely overpowered and completely ridiculous. Whatever happened to the beautiful Trek ships of yore? Can't we just be happy with nice curved saucers and regular phasers? Do we need phase cannons that are tiny but severely overpowered? What is this? I know it's designed to defeat the Borg, but that's no excuse for something this monstrous, this over the top, and this ugly. Plus, the Borg's greatest advantage was their ability to adapt. So even if you have phase cannons and quantum torpedoes, the Borg will just adapt to them and you're still screwed.
The Defiant is everything wrong with DS9. It is a blight on Trekdom, and I am so glad that at least JJ Abrams's reboot will wipe that eyesore from existence.
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Star Trek. Show all posts
Monday, May 10, 2010
DS9 and shields.
Well, the thing is... DS9's big space battles never had any ships with shields. Seriously, you watch them. No shield bubbles on any of em. It's ridiculous.
I didn't see shield bubbles on any ships, at all. No shields in Star Trek? Thank you DS9, you lousy piece of shit. Ugh.
Me, I've always been a stickler for the bubble shields. Conformal shields just look boring by comparison. Mind you, I grew up watching the TNG series, so I'm very very used to the bubble shield look. It's kinda ingrained in my consciousness. When I think of shields, I think of blue bubbles. There's a majesty and a pageantry to them. You get the feeling that the bubble is protecting you from harm. They're more visually impressive. The only time we got to see shields in the original series films, Star Trek The Motion Picture, they also used bubble shields. You could just sense the power of the Enterprise's bubble shields as they held against the destructive green power of V'Ger. It was awesome. The bubble shield, not the movie. God, that movie was boring.
And ya know, while Generations was also a terrible film, I really liked the visual look of the shields. Even when they got penetrated by that Bird of Prey. You could see the blue little shield light up as the disruptor bolts pierced them. You couldn't get that with conformal shields, no siree bob. And remember when the Enterprise actually fired back at them and the phaser fire was sorta streaming in every which direction, as it dissipated against the green bubble shield of the BoP?
I really like bubble shields. Conformal shields just don't do it for me. They don't say Star Trek. There's no visual splendor there. But uh, getting back on topic there... see, the thing is... the DS9 battles don't even show conformal shields. They don't. They just don't show shields period. No shields at all.
The evidence shows that yes, Deep Space 9 itself has shields. Apparently space stations are allowed to have shields, but not the ships. If there are shields, they're invisible. Since I believe shields flare up and are not invisible, well... there aren't any shields. This sort of thing ruins my immersion. When I watch Star Trek, I have certain expectations. I expect ships with saucers and two nacelles, and shields, and some spiffy colored uniforms. I demand them, in fact. DS9 broke two of those cardinal rules.
DS9 did have spiffy colored uniforms, but uh... I thought those jumpsuits looked a bit worse then TNG's Season 3 outfits, honestly. TNG's Season 3 overhaul was one of the best in living memory, though. They kept Riker's awesome beard, gave Worf a better looking metal sash, got rid of Sonja Gomez, painted that technical looking design on the pillar behind Picard's chair, changed his armrests so you didn't have to flip them up, and gave us the second best looking uniforms in the history of Trek. The collar, a stroke of genius. No more need to see all of their exposed necks like that. And the belt added stature and poise. Might also have been responsible for the Picard Maneuver, not sure about that. But god bless Robert Blackman for crafting those new uniforms.
This is a good example of what we should've always seen in DS9:the Defiant vs Lakota battle.
Nice, visible bubble shields in that scene. This is good. This is what we deserve. This is a pretty well done scene. I approve of this.
Also, Susan Gibney is awesome and I wish we'd seen her more often.
In conclusion, I had major issues with DS9. Lack of shields being one of the more obvious ones.
I didn't see shield bubbles on any ships, at all. No shields in Star Trek? Thank you DS9, you lousy piece of shit. Ugh.
Me, I've always been a stickler for the bubble shields. Conformal shields just look boring by comparison. Mind you, I grew up watching the TNG series, so I'm very very used to the bubble shield look. It's kinda ingrained in my consciousness. When I think of shields, I think of blue bubbles. There's a majesty and a pageantry to them. You get the feeling that the bubble is protecting you from harm. They're more visually impressive. The only time we got to see shields in the original series films, Star Trek The Motion Picture, they also used bubble shields. You could just sense the power of the Enterprise's bubble shields as they held against the destructive green power of V'Ger. It was awesome. The bubble shield, not the movie. God, that movie was boring.
And ya know, while Generations was also a terrible film, I really liked the visual look of the shields. Even when they got penetrated by that Bird of Prey. You could see the blue little shield light up as the disruptor bolts pierced them. You couldn't get that with conformal shields, no siree bob. And remember when the Enterprise actually fired back at them and the phaser fire was sorta streaming in every which direction, as it dissipated against the green bubble shield of the BoP?
I really like bubble shields. Conformal shields just don't do it for me. They don't say Star Trek. There's no visual splendor there. But uh, getting back on topic there... see, the thing is... the DS9 battles don't even show conformal shields. They don't. They just don't show shields period. No shields at all.
The evidence shows that yes, Deep Space 9 itself has shields. Apparently space stations are allowed to have shields, but not the ships. If there are shields, they're invisible. Since I believe shields flare up and are not invisible, well... there aren't any shields. This sort of thing ruins my immersion. When I watch Star Trek, I have certain expectations. I expect ships with saucers and two nacelles, and shields, and some spiffy colored uniforms. I demand them, in fact. DS9 broke two of those cardinal rules.
DS9 did have spiffy colored uniforms, but uh... I thought those jumpsuits looked a bit worse then TNG's Season 3 outfits, honestly. TNG's Season 3 overhaul was one of the best in living memory, though. They kept Riker's awesome beard, gave Worf a better looking metal sash, got rid of Sonja Gomez, painted that technical looking design on the pillar behind Picard's chair, changed his armrests so you didn't have to flip them up, and gave us the second best looking uniforms in the history of Trek. The collar, a stroke of genius. No more need to see all of their exposed necks like that. And the belt added stature and poise. Might also have been responsible for the Picard Maneuver, not sure about that. But god bless Robert Blackman for crafting those new uniforms.
This is a good example of what we should've always seen in DS9:the Defiant vs Lakota battle.
Nice, visible bubble shields in that scene. This is good. This is what we deserve. This is a pretty well done scene. I approve of this.
Also, Susan Gibney is awesome and I wish we'd seen her more often.
In conclusion, I had major issues with DS9. Lack of shields being one of the more obvious ones.
Rethinking the Pegasus.
I was recently thinking about the TNG episode The Pegasus again. Looking back on it, I have to say... I really don't think I can buy Picard's decision there.
Admiral Pressman wants to recover a Federation cloaking device from the Pegasus, Riker's old ship. They find it and Riker tells Picard, who knows that it's a blatant violation of the Treaty of Algernon. The cloak also works as a way to phase through matter. So they get trapped inside the asteroid with the Pegasus and have to use the cloak to escape. Picard spills the beans to the Romulans and Pressman and Starfleet Intelligence get into big trouble or something.
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but when I think about the episode now, I can't help but come to the conclusion that the power and usefulness of the cloaking device is probably worth violating the treaty. That's a huge tactical advantage that the Federation just gives up. I feel like, in the greater scheme of things, it would have been better to have reclaimed the device like Pressman wanted, instead of what Picard ended up doing.
It seems like it worked pretty well, since the Enterprise does use it and manages to escape without any disastrous consequences. There's no guarantee that there would be a war with the Romulans. They're just developing it, they aren't outfitting the entire fleet with the things. I think the tactical advantage of having interphasic cloaking devices is worth it. Think how many lives could've been saved in the Dominion War if they had had the technology and used it then.
And ya know, some have speculated that Pressman and Starfleet Intelligence were really working for Section 31. This is kinda weird, cause you'd think that such an important mission would've been handled by a ship crewed entirely by loyal Section 31 agents, instead of given to that ol' softy Picard, who's probably well known for his strict ethical code. It falls apart, doesn't it? Ah well, Section 31 was a shitty idea. Just one of numerous bad ideas from that DS9.
Technically... they were violating the treaty. But in a practical sense, they were working on something that would have been an immense boon to the Federation and its security. I guess I'm just looking at the situation from the perspective of a human in today's world, instead of a Picard with evolved morals in a utopian future.
Ya know, thinking about Starfleet admirals... it's tough to actually find a good one. From the TNG seasons, I think my favorite one is Necheyev. She was really unpleasant, but it seemed plausible that she was at least competent and working for Starfleet's best interests. Everyone else seemed to be really corrupt or under an alien influence or incompetent.
Maybe that's why Janeway got promoted to Admiral.
Admiral Pressman wants to recover a Federation cloaking device from the Pegasus, Riker's old ship. They find it and Riker tells Picard, who knows that it's a blatant violation of the Treaty of Algernon. The cloak also works as a way to phase through matter. So they get trapped inside the asteroid with the Pegasus and have to use the cloak to escape. Picard spills the beans to the Romulans and Pressman and Starfleet Intelligence get into big trouble or something.
Maybe this makes me a bad person, but when I think about the episode now, I can't help but come to the conclusion that the power and usefulness of the cloaking device is probably worth violating the treaty. That's a huge tactical advantage that the Federation just gives up. I feel like, in the greater scheme of things, it would have been better to have reclaimed the device like Pressman wanted, instead of what Picard ended up doing.
It seems like it worked pretty well, since the Enterprise does use it and manages to escape without any disastrous consequences. There's no guarantee that there would be a war with the Romulans. They're just developing it, they aren't outfitting the entire fleet with the things. I think the tactical advantage of having interphasic cloaking devices is worth it. Think how many lives could've been saved in the Dominion War if they had had the technology and used it then.
And ya know, some have speculated that Pressman and Starfleet Intelligence were really working for Section 31. This is kinda weird, cause you'd think that such an important mission would've been handled by a ship crewed entirely by loyal Section 31 agents, instead of given to that ol' softy Picard, who's probably well known for his strict ethical code. It falls apart, doesn't it? Ah well, Section 31 was a shitty idea. Just one of numerous bad ideas from that DS9.
Technically... they were violating the treaty. But in a practical sense, they were working on something that would have been an immense boon to the Federation and its security. I guess I'm just looking at the situation from the perspective of a human in today's world, instead of a Picard with evolved morals in a utopian future.
Ya know, thinking about Starfleet admirals... it's tough to actually find a good one. From the TNG seasons, I think my favorite one is Necheyev. She was really unpleasant, but it seemed plausible that she was at least competent and working for Starfleet's best interests. Everyone else seemed to be really corrupt or under an alien influence or incompetent.
Maybe that's why Janeway got promoted to Admiral.
Friday, May 15, 2009
More thoughts on Star Trek
Ya know, this is a recent thought I've had, but didn't you think those Vulcan children bullying Spock at the beginning were just a bit too... unimaginative in their approach? To me, that scene starting with them all being in those little tanks reciting philosophy and mathematical equations was a good way of letting you know that "These kids are far from normal. They are Vulcan children, and Vulcan is a vastly different society then what we know." Those bullies, they really didn't seem like Vulcan children, just regular human kids with pointy prosthetics, emotional cruelty and all. I dunno if it's because I've read so many of the novels, but I always had this vision of Vulcan children being a lot more logical and just plain calculating if they were to taunt someone. Ya know, more subtle jabs... not just being blunt and calling your mother a whore.
The scene just felt a bit too heavy handed. Kids are kids but... alien kids in a society where all emotion is shunned... you'd imagine they would behave differently. That science academy scene with Spock was more of the Vulcan way that I wished was in the first scene. A lot more subtly pointed.
I will say, seeing Spock with that split lip and a little green blood on it was nice. Just to let us know that Abrams hadn't forgotten that Vulcans bleed green. Cause I can totally imagine some casual moviegoers sitting there wondering why there's a green smudge on his lip.
The scene just felt a bit too heavy handed. Kids are kids but... alien kids in a society where all emotion is shunned... you'd imagine they would behave differently. That science academy scene with Spock was more of the Vulcan way that I wished was in the first scene. A lot more subtly pointed.
I will say, seeing Spock with that split lip and a little green blood on it was nice. Just to let us know that Abrams hadn't forgotten that Vulcans bleed green. Cause I can totally imagine some casual moviegoers sitting there wondering why there's a green smudge on his lip.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My reaction to Star Trek (with spoilers!)
Just came back from Star Trek.
It's... very different from previous Trek films. There's some things that stay the same, and a lot that changes. Definitely not gonna replace Wrath of Khan, heh.
The CGI's amazing, of course. That's kinda the most obvious at-a-glance difference. See, this is really hard. My head is swimming with all the crazy stuff that I just saw, but... most of it's gonna be spoilers.
I will say, you should prepare yourself for a lot, I mean a lot of lens flare in this film. It was some sort of cinematic look they were going for, but sometimes the amount of it was just overwhelming. Like, a character will look out of a window, and the sun just pours through the window and completely blots out the screen with yellow flare for a good two to three seconds. That was just kinda "Ok, that's a bit much, thanks."
Yea... the timeline really changes...
They fucking DESTROY VULCAN, WITH SIX BILLION VULCANS! AND AMANDA GREYSON! HOLY SHIT.
Which is mind boggling, but I didn't really feel the impact because you're aware of the time travel, so... maybe it's just me, but I felt myself not reacting to the change when it happened because I was sure that they would use the time travel again at the climax to undo what had happened. It seemed really telegraphed. But then they don't do that at all, which was cool. But by then, the emotional impact of Vulcan being gone was uh, gone. It was just a CGI effect. Did anyone else feel this way?
They do show the Kobayashi Maru, which was really really funny. Maybe a bit too over the top, depending on your mood.
I mean, Kirk's fucking eating a goddamn apple in the scene... that's just insanely over the top. It does work in a comedic manner, but if you've envisioned it happening a different way since 1982 when Wrath of Khan came out, obviously this is gonna take some getting used to.
Just all throughout the film, there are these callbacks to the old series that we know and love. That was really cute and worked for me. Scotty actually saying "I'm giving it all I've got, Capn!" and uh, Spock uttering "When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
We even find out how McCoy got the nickname "Bones."
Not sure how I feel about the new guy playing Spock. It's just really hard to see Spock being played this way. It's much more emotional then we're used to, so that was a shock. And of course, because we actually have Leonard Nimoy playing him too. And the new guy's just got a huge nose. There'd be these closeups of Kirk and Spock eyeing each other, and I'd just focus on how Spock's nose is so much bigger then Kirk's normal sized one. It was just weird.
And yea, it's definitely been a while since I've watched TOS episodes. But I think it's also that when we see Spock being emotional before in TOS, it was usually emotional in a friendly, camaraderie sort of way. Here, he's mostly emotional in an angry way.
Right now I'm looking up who played the Orion girl, cause she was fucking hot. You know how Kirk is...
But uh... that's just minor. Now, there is one relationship in this film that was uh... completely out of nowhere, nothing in canon to support it.
Spock and Uhura? Holy shit! That totally came out of left field for me. Just uh... WTF. I don't think I was the only one in my audience to react that way, either. Not saying that it's a terrible decision though. Just a shocker cause we'd never seen this before in TOS. We'll have to see how the sequels handle this relationship. Still, right now... it's just a huge seismic change.
Nero's not a great villain. Kinda wasted in the story, I think. Just uh... not very memorable.
And his great villainous ship turns out to be just a mining ship. Which doesn't really jive with it being this sinister spidery juggernaut. Seriously, it dwarfs every other ship... I'd estimate it's somewhere from a half to one Borg Cubes in size. No idea why a mining ship needs to be that big. And the inside of it kinda reminded me a little of V'ger. Just a really crazy layout. Again, not sure why a mining ship would look like that.
Oh, know what I didn't expect? New Chekov's accent got almost unbearably comical to listen to. It's strange, cause I've never blinked at old Chekov's thick accent. But hearing it coming out of this young new actor was really grating. I actually burst out laughing when he first talked. Simon Pegg's Scotty was great, he was funny in that same sorta Jimmy Doohan manner back in the day. Just a joy in every scene. McCoy too, Karl Urban really seemed to have researched Kelly's acting mannerisms. Don't believe he ever said "He's dead, Jim" though.
Unfortunately, I've gotta report that this film suffers from the same horrible flaw as Deep Space Nine's big battle scenes... we never see any visible shields. Maybe I missed em, but from what I could see, there were never any shield impact effects. Ships just get torn to pieces from the get-go by torpedoes. I mean, yes, Nero's ship is from the future and is obviously much more powerful then the Starfleet ships. But still, I would've expected to see at least one shield impact before they failed. Hey, if I'm wrong on this... feel free to correct me with screenshots. Prove me wrong, I beg you.
The other strange technical oddity is that transporters can work through shields now. Either that or nobody ever has shields up. One or the other. Just kinda bizarre. Everybody's just transporting to where they need to be.
And wtf was with Kirk and Scott transporting to the Enterprise from the ice planet? I mean, I get that the story needed to send them there, but... you mean to tell me that transporters can now reach ships that have departed a planet at high warp for a couple hours? Really? That's some crazy magic Spock Prime worked on that transporter pad. I just... yea, that really didn't make any sense to me. Transporters have a certain range. And yes, having a guy from the future can certainly improve that range. But it really took me out of the movie when you have a transporter that has that kind of crazy range. Not to mention that like I said before, they seemed to be able to transport through the Enterprise's shields. Or the Enterprise was running with shields down, which would be kinda strange given they were facing a dangerous Romulan that had just destroyed Vulcan.
Annnnnd as far as the aesthetics, I really didn't like the new Engineering. It was filmed in a brewery, and that's pretty much what it looks like, a brewery. A lot of pipes going everywhere and huge vats that I imagine contained beer. Just a complete departure from the central warp core room that they introduced in the films and TNG. Which hey, what can I say... that worked for me. Also, the ship apparently has several small warp cores, instead of one long tube that runs from the top to the bottom of the secondary hull. The bridge of course is the same general layout, just all decorated Apple-y white. So it was much more familiar and I didn't have a problem with it.
Oooooh, they did change the phasers... that was pretty noticeable. They're still about the same shape and appearance to the Star Trek 5-6 model, but now they actually switch the barrel when you change it from kill to stun. So it'll have a red barrel for kill, and then flip to a blue one for stun. I dunno... probably a concession to appeal more to casual people?
There was something very strange with the USS Kelvin, the Akula-like ship. At the beginning of the movie, it's getting trashed pretty badly. They have to evacuate the entire ship. So, that top part is the secondary hull, with the shuttlebay. Now... this ship launches about 10-15 shuttles out of there with all the survivors. This is supposed to be a thrilling escape scene, yet... all I could think was how the hell did that secondary hull have room for all of those shuttles? Did the shuttlebay take up the entire hull? Where was their Engineering? It was so strange seeing 15 shuttles coming out of that dinky little secondary hull. Was there some sort of mass shifting pocket universe embedded in the Kelvin to store shuttles?
So yea, still pretty overwhelmed by the experience. Go see it, it's a good time at the movies.
It's... very different from previous Trek films. There's some things that stay the same, and a lot that changes. Definitely not gonna replace Wrath of Khan, heh.
The CGI's amazing, of course. That's kinda the most obvious at-a-glance difference. See, this is really hard. My head is swimming with all the crazy stuff that I just saw, but... most of it's gonna be spoilers.
I will say, you should prepare yourself for a lot, I mean a lot of lens flare in this film. It was some sort of cinematic look they were going for, but sometimes the amount of it was just overwhelming. Like, a character will look out of a window, and the sun just pours through the window and completely blots out the screen with yellow flare for a good two to three seconds. That was just kinda "Ok, that's a bit much, thanks."
Yea... the timeline really changes...
They fucking DESTROY VULCAN, WITH SIX BILLION VULCANS! AND AMANDA GREYSON! HOLY SHIT.
Which is mind boggling, but I didn't really feel the impact because you're aware of the time travel, so... maybe it's just me, but I felt myself not reacting to the change when it happened because I was sure that they would use the time travel again at the climax to undo what had happened. It seemed really telegraphed. But then they don't do that at all, which was cool. But by then, the emotional impact of Vulcan being gone was uh, gone. It was just a CGI effect. Did anyone else feel this way?
They do show the Kobayashi Maru, which was really really funny. Maybe a bit too over the top, depending on your mood.
I mean, Kirk's fucking eating a goddamn apple in the scene... that's just insanely over the top. It does work in a comedic manner, but if you've envisioned it happening a different way since 1982 when Wrath of Khan came out, obviously this is gonna take some getting used to.
Just all throughout the film, there are these callbacks to the old series that we know and love. That was really cute and worked for me. Scotty actually saying "I'm giving it all I've got, Capn!" and uh, Spock uttering "When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
We even find out how McCoy got the nickname "Bones."
Not sure how I feel about the new guy playing Spock. It's just really hard to see Spock being played this way. It's much more emotional then we're used to, so that was a shock. And of course, because we actually have Leonard Nimoy playing him too. And the new guy's just got a huge nose. There'd be these closeups of Kirk and Spock eyeing each other, and I'd just focus on how Spock's nose is so much bigger then Kirk's normal sized one. It was just weird.
And yea, it's definitely been a while since I've watched TOS episodes. But I think it's also that when we see Spock being emotional before in TOS, it was usually emotional in a friendly, camaraderie sort of way. Here, he's mostly emotional in an angry way.
Right now I'm looking up who played the Orion girl, cause she was fucking hot. You know how Kirk is...
But uh... that's just minor. Now, there is one relationship in this film that was uh... completely out of nowhere, nothing in canon to support it.
Spock and Uhura? Holy shit! That totally came out of left field for me. Just uh... WTF. I don't think I was the only one in my audience to react that way, either. Not saying that it's a terrible decision though. Just a shocker cause we'd never seen this before in TOS. We'll have to see how the sequels handle this relationship. Still, right now... it's just a huge seismic change.
Nero's not a great villain. Kinda wasted in the story, I think. Just uh... not very memorable.
And his great villainous ship turns out to be just a mining ship. Which doesn't really jive with it being this sinister spidery juggernaut. Seriously, it dwarfs every other ship... I'd estimate it's somewhere from a half to one Borg Cubes in size. No idea why a mining ship needs to be that big. And the inside of it kinda reminded me a little of V'ger. Just a really crazy layout. Again, not sure why a mining ship would look like that.
Oh, know what I didn't expect? New Chekov's accent got almost unbearably comical to listen to. It's strange, cause I've never blinked at old Chekov's thick accent. But hearing it coming out of this young new actor was really grating. I actually burst out laughing when he first talked. Simon Pegg's Scotty was great, he was funny in that same sorta Jimmy Doohan manner back in the day. Just a joy in every scene. McCoy too, Karl Urban really seemed to have researched Kelly's acting mannerisms. Don't believe he ever said "He's dead, Jim" though.
Unfortunately, I've gotta report that this film suffers from the same horrible flaw as Deep Space Nine's big battle scenes... we never see any visible shields. Maybe I missed em, but from what I could see, there were never any shield impact effects. Ships just get torn to pieces from the get-go by torpedoes. I mean, yes, Nero's ship is from the future and is obviously much more powerful then the Starfleet ships. But still, I would've expected to see at least one shield impact before they failed. Hey, if I'm wrong on this... feel free to correct me with screenshots. Prove me wrong, I beg you.
The other strange technical oddity is that transporters can work through shields now. Either that or nobody ever has shields up. One or the other. Just kinda bizarre. Everybody's just transporting to where they need to be.
And wtf was with Kirk and Scott transporting to the Enterprise from the ice planet? I mean, I get that the story needed to send them there, but... you mean to tell me that transporters can now reach ships that have departed a planet at high warp for a couple hours? Really? That's some crazy magic Spock Prime worked on that transporter pad. I just... yea, that really didn't make any sense to me. Transporters have a certain range. And yes, having a guy from the future can certainly improve that range. But it really took me out of the movie when you have a transporter that has that kind of crazy range. Not to mention that like I said before, they seemed to be able to transport through the Enterprise's shields. Or the Enterprise was running with shields down, which would be kinda strange given they were facing a dangerous Romulan that had just destroyed Vulcan.
Annnnnd as far as the aesthetics, I really didn't like the new Engineering. It was filmed in a brewery, and that's pretty much what it looks like, a brewery. A lot of pipes going everywhere and huge vats that I imagine contained beer. Just a complete departure from the central warp core room that they introduced in the films and TNG. Which hey, what can I say... that worked for me. Also, the ship apparently has several small warp cores, instead of one long tube that runs from the top to the bottom of the secondary hull. The bridge of course is the same general layout, just all decorated Apple-y white. So it was much more familiar and I didn't have a problem with it.
Oooooh, they did change the phasers... that was pretty noticeable. They're still about the same shape and appearance to the Star Trek 5-6 model, but now they actually switch the barrel when you change it from kill to stun. So it'll have a red barrel for kill, and then flip to a blue one for stun. I dunno... probably a concession to appeal more to casual people?
There was something very strange with the USS Kelvin, the Akula-like ship. At the beginning of the movie, it's getting trashed pretty badly. They have to evacuate the entire ship. So, that top part is the secondary hull, with the shuttlebay. Now... this ship launches about 10-15 shuttles out of there with all the survivors. This is supposed to be a thrilling escape scene, yet... all I could think was how the hell did that secondary hull have room for all of those shuttles? Did the shuttlebay take up the entire hull? Where was their Engineering? It was so strange seeing 15 shuttles coming out of that dinky little secondary hull. Was there some sort of mass shifting pocket universe embedded in the Kelvin to store shuttles?
So yea, still pretty overwhelmed by the experience. Go see it, it's a good time at the movies.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
My 5 Favorite Films of All Time
1. The Dark Knight
The greatest superhero movie of all time. This should've won Best Picture at the Oscars. What other superhero film can you actually say that about? What Christopher Nolan did with Batman and The Joker is simply the stuff of legend. You can't just look at it as a comic book movie, you can't just look at it as an action flick, you can't just look at it as a crime drama... it's a mindblowing masterpiece of cinema. Nolan took a franchise that had become known for "Chill out, bird boy!" and somehow managed to craft a dark epic that would become the second highest grossing film of all time. To make that sort of herculean effort with minimal CGI in today's environment... the man is simply a visionary genius.
And Heath Ledger... what is there left to say about Heath Ledger? He didn't win the Oscar because he died. It wasn't a sympathy vote. He deserved it, by portraying The Joker in a way wholly unlike anything we'd ever seen before. Fuck Cesar Romero, fuck Jack Nicholson, and fuck Mark Hamill. Ledger will always be The Joker now. So many quotable lines, and even a second villain that felt natural and meshed with the plot. Who could forget that brilliant hospital scene with our first glimpse at Two Face? The way Nolan teased at it, turning his head away at just the right moment to heighten the suspense. And then the actual reveal, and hearing the gasps in the audience. Just great iconic moments.
Another iconic scene: the interrogation room. What a wonderful way to subvert the traditional interrogation. Start it in darkness, but then shift into bright light, contrasting the white room with the blackness of Batman. Also reflecting the two warring sides of Two Faces. The Batman pummels the Joker, yet somehow still ends up being helpless while the Joker is holding all the cards. This isn't the sort of stuff you expect from a superhero action film. That's why it's so wonderful. Just as the Joker turned Gotham upside down, this film has completely turned its genre upside down. My favorite scene is the ending monologue from Commissioner Gordon: "Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a Dark Knight." BAM. The title card finally comes onscreen. If that didn't affect you in some manner after witnessing the last 2 and a half hours, you're just not human.
2. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
You have to know, Star Trek 2 was one of the first films I remember watching as a young lad. Back in the good ol days, channel 44, which would later go on to become UPN and then the CW, would rerun old movies all the time, and one of those would be Star Trek 2. This was my very first Star Trek film, and left an absolutely indelible impression on me. This film was what made me a Trekkie. It was pretty cool too, cause this was right around the time that TNG was starting up and I was able to watch that great show as it originally ran.
Then my family bought a VCR player and I recorded Star Trek 2. And rewatched it and rewatched it and rewatched it. Fuck all other films, I couldn't get sick of viewing this somewhat poor quality recording. It got to the point where I could pretty much recite the dialogue line for line as they said it onscreen. Ya know how it is, being a young kid and going all crazy trying to ape Ricardo Montalban with fun lines like "To the last... I will grapple with thee. From Hell's heart... I stab at thee! For HATE's SAKE... I spit... my last breath... at thee!" Just wonderful emotional lines that you could really rasp out. Of course, some of the dialogue made absolutely no sense back then. It took me years to figure out exactly what "Sauce for the goose" meant, for example. Still, great childhood memories.
So, that's just a bit of context to let you know how much I cherish this film. The best Star Trek film ever, and my favorite film until The Dark Knight last summer. What Nicholas Meyer pulled off was nothing short of a miracle, when you look back and see that it was following up on Star Trek The Motionless Picture. Who could have had the imagination, and force of persuasion to alter basically the entire Star Trek universe like that? Suddenly... awful pajama uniforms gave way to awesomely elegant red jacket uniforms. With that iconic clasp over the right shoulder? That feature's been copied for fucking decades now, in all kinds of scifi movies and video games. You've gotta give props, that was an amazing costume change. And the single best starship battle, STILL. You can show me all sorts of ship battles from DS9 or Nemesis, but I still hold that Mutara Nebula battle as the greatest ship to ship battle in Trek history. You cannot top that film finale. Which is strange, because it's two Federation starships battling one another.
Then you realize that's what made it great. What was great was how they made it two Federation starships fighting each other. It seems like that would be a weird dynamic, but they make it work. The Reliant is from Starfleet, but it looks totally different from the Enterprise. And I'm not just talking about the red lighting they used, which was blatant as all hell. It's got two low nacelles right under it, far apart, so it kinda looks like a mean pitbull. A pitbull in somewhat of a lean, crouched down. Small, but packing a punch. While the Enterprise is longer and much more graceful with two nacelle struts in a V, like an eagle. This really hits home when the Enterprise is cruising towards the Mutara Nebula with the Reliant hot on its heels.
The final battle is tense, just like the u-boat films which Nicholas Meyer referenced on his commentary of the DVD. But what's so important is how slow the ships move. This is what is great about Trek, they are these giant ships and they act like it. When the Reliant comes charging out of the static towards the Enterprise, we can see Kirk pivoting his chair, while ordering "Evasive starboard!" Yet the ship herself turns much more slowly then his chair pivot. We feel the engines straining for such a maneuver. Is it realistic? Oh hell no, of course not. Ships are weightless in space, yada yada yada. But it doesn't matter, because Trek ships need that sense of size and weight. After all, this is space... they have nothing but the Enterprise and an occasional alien planet. This ship is the workplace, and home, and overall landscape for 500 people. She's as much a character as any of the main characters. So to maintain the heft and importance, it is crucial that the ship not be pulling off all sorts of crazy loop-de-loops or whatnot.
So yea, Wrath of Khan still holds up. That's why it's a classic. I will always have a big goofy grin on my face while watching this film. Just can't help it. And yes, occasionally reciting a line like "Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. The odds will be even."
3. The Rock
Here's a shocker... it's a fucking Michael Bay movie! But ya know what, that doesn't matter, because Michael Bay managed to actually combine his great action sensibilities with superb storytelling. Everything here is outrageous and explosiony and exciting, but without going so far over the top that it becomes incredibly retarded and irritating, e.g. Armageddon, Bad Boys 2. This is, in my opinion, the perfect modern day action flick. Navy Seals, U.S. Marines, jet fighters, a deadly nerve toxin, Sean Connery being a bad ass, Nicholas Cage being crazy fucking Nicholas Cage and allowing us to laugh at him... it has it all. It's sad that all of Bay's films after this have failed to live up to the promise that The Rock showed us. Perhaps he was just more hungry and determined back then, who knows. But even if Transformers 2 and 3 turn out to be turds on the order of the Star Wars prequels, I'll still remember him as the director of this great action flick.
4. Aliens
So many franchises we have today owe their success to Aliens. The Zerg from Starcraft? Aliens. The Tyranids from Warhammer 40k? Aliens. The bugs from Starship Troopers the film (not the book)? Aliens. The Brood from X-Men? Aliens. The Flood from Halo? Aliens. Probably a few others I've missed? Aliens. James Cameron took Ridley Scott's spookhouse in space and completely changed gears to deliver the ultimate scifi war film. Do smartguns on steadycam mounts make a ton of logical sense? Maybe not, but they looked damn cool. So much of what James Cameron designed was incredibly cool and has influenced pop culture. The Pelicans from Halo? Just copies of the Dropship from Aliens. The dropship pilot telling us we're in the pipe five by five? A direct line from Aliens. Angry black sargeant? That's just Apone. Shotgun being good in Doom? Probably Hick's, for close encounters.
The greatness of Aliens, apart from its many cool little tidbits, is the pacing. It's relentless. You're on this sorta roller coaster ride, but it's not quite fun. It's tense, scary, completely draining. And when you think you've managed to escape the worst of it... the Queen pops out of the rear landing gear and you're right back in the thick of it, witnessing an epic fight with a goddamn power loader. This film is great because it dialed absolutely everything up to 11. Looking back, it's easy to see that Alien 3 would've been somewhat of a disappointment no matter what they chose to do. Aliens said pretty much everything that needed to be said about humans in space battling xenomorphs. Game over man, game over.
5. Superman
Yes, another superhero film. This one also has a special place in my heart. Christopher Reeve set the mold for all other actors portraying superheroes. And nobody since has managed to break it. To me, Reeve *is* the Man of Steel. I don't care if the special effects are dated these days. This film's greatness transcends that. After all, Superman Returns had state of the art special effects and yet was a complete failure of a film. Christopher Reeve was able to make me believe a man could fly.
Also, Superman is one of those magical movies that really lodged itself in my mind because it's one of those films that, because of its length, I could never actually finish watching as a kid. Ya know, it's one of those films that you'll catch on tv, or see at a day care center somewhere in Reno, and yet something will always come up which prevents you from getting the ending. Either you'll just fall asleep, or you'll get picked up from the daycare center... just events unfold which prevent a full viewing. For me, it was this film and Back to the Future 2 that always seemed to last forever and I'd never finish till the end. That gave them a sort of mystique in my childhood.
Now, there is one weakness of Superman, and that's the ending. Superman turns the world backwards in time to save Lois and stop California from falling into the ocean. Yes, it's not great... it doesn't really make any sense. But it's one small blemish on an otherwise grand superhero origin story. And honestly, how could you resist the very end when Christopher Reeve flies over the earth at the onset of a new dawn, looks up at us, and smiles in the way that Superman would smile? It's just movie magic, folks.
What makes Superman work is Richard Donner's verisimilitude, especially during the Krypton and Smallville scenes. This movie was the first to tell the superhero origin story, and is still the best one, in my opinion. The shots of the crystalline Kryptonian landscape are awe inspiring. You really believe this is an alien world with an alien people. Smallville looked like the town that Norman Rockwell grew up in. Sure, it doesn't actually exist in real life, but it looks like how we would all want a small American town to look. Who wouldn't want to grow up in a pastural idyllic setting like that? Who could possibly doubt that America's greatest hero would emerge from such a place? When the camera raised and zoomed ahead of Clark and Martha Kent, embracing in a rich field of golden wheat, it was the film was letting us know we had just witnessed the birth of a modern American myth.
And of course, the soundtrack. Who the hell doesn't know the Superman soundtrack? I haven't talked about the soundtrack of any other film on this list, and it's for good reason. None of them matter compared to John Williams' work here. Truly a masterpiece of scoring, and probably his greatest work to date. The notes simply cry out "Superman" even though there aren't any lyrics. Just as Aliens worked to pummel you with dread and suspense, the Superman music worked to uplift the spirit and allow the audience to soar like the Man of Steel himself.
The greatest superhero movie of all time. This should've won Best Picture at the Oscars. What other superhero film can you actually say that about? What Christopher Nolan did with Batman and The Joker is simply the stuff of legend. You can't just look at it as a comic book movie, you can't just look at it as an action flick, you can't just look at it as a crime drama... it's a mindblowing masterpiece of cinema. Nolan took a franchise that had become known for "Chill out, bird boy!" and somehow managed to craft a dark epic that would become the second highest grossing film of all time. To make that sort of herculean effort with minimal CGI in today's environment... the man is simply a visionary genius.
And Heath Ledger... what is there left to say about Heath Ledger? He didn't win the Oscar because he died. It wasn't a sympathy vote. He deserved it, by portraying The Joker in a way wholly unlike anything we'd ever seen before. Fuck Cesar Romero, fuck Jack Nicholson, and fuck Mark Hamill. Ledger will always be The Joker now. So many quotable lines, and even a second villain that felt natural and meshed with the plot. Who could forget that brilliant hospital scene with our first glimpse at Two Face? The way Nolan teased at it, turning his head away at just the right moment to heighten the suspense. And then the actual reveal, and hearing the gasps in the audience. Just great iconic moments.
Another iconic scene: the interrogation room. What a wonderful way to subvert the traditional interrogation. Start it in darkness, but then shift into bright light, contrasting the white room with the blackness of Batman. Also reflecting the two warring sides of Two Faces. The Batman pummels the Joker, yet somehow still ends up being helpless while the Joker is holding all the cards. This isn't the sort of stuff you expect from a superhero action film. That's why it's so wonderful. Just as the Joker turned Gotham upside down, this film has completely turned its genre upside down. My favorite scene is the ending monologue from Commissioner Gordon: "Because he's not a hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector... a Dark Knight." BAM. The title card finally comes onscreen. If that didn't affect you in some manner after witnessing the last 2 and a half hours, you're just not human.
2. Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
You have to know, Star Trek 2 was one of the first films I remember watching as a young lad. Back in the good ol days, channel 44, which would later go on to become UPN and then the CW, would rerun old movies all the time, and one of those would be Star Trek 2. This was my very first Star Trek film, and left an absolutely indelible impression on me. This film was what made me a Trekkie. It was pretty cool too, cause this was right around the time that TNG was starting up and I was able to watch that great show as it originally ran.
Then my family bought a VCR player and I recorded Star Trek 2. And rewatched it and rewatched it and rewatched it. Fuck all other films, I couldn't get sick of viewing this somewhat poor quality recording. It got to the point where I could pretty much recite the dialogue line for line as they said it onscreen. Ya know how it is, being a young kid and going all crazy trying to ape Ricardo Montalban with fun lines like "To the last... I will grapple with thee. From Hell's heart... I stab at thee! For HATE's SAKE... I spit... my last breath... at thee!" Just wonderful emotional lines that you could really rasp out. Of course, some of the dialogue made absolutely no sense back then. It took me years to figure out exactly what "Sauce for the goose" meant, for example. Still, great childhood memories.
So, that's just a bit of context to let you know how much I cherish this film. The best Star Trek film ever, and my favorite film until The Dark Knight last summer. What Nicholas Meyer pulled off was nothing short of a miracle, when you look back and see that it was following up on Star Trek The Motionless Picture. Who could have had the imagination, and force of persuasion to alter basically the entire Star Trek universe like that? Suddenly... awful pajama uniforms gave way to awesomely elegant red jacket uniforms. With that iconic clasp over the right shoulder? That feature's been copied for fucking decades now, in all kinds of scifi movies and video games. You've gotta give props, that was an amazing costume change. And the single best starship battle, STILL. You can show me all sorts of ship battles from DS9 or Nemesis, but I still hold that Mutara Nebula battle as the greatest ship to ship battle in Trek history. You cannot top that film finale. Which is strange, because it's two Federation starships battling one another.
Then you realize that's what made it great. What was great was how they made it two Federation starships fighting each other. It seems like that would be a weird dynamic, but they make it work. The Reliant is from Starfleet, but it looks totally different from the Enterprise. And I'm not just talking about the red lighting they used, which was blatant as all hell. It's got two low nacelles right under it, far apart, so it kinda looks like a mean pitbull. A pitbull in somewhat of a lean, crouched down. Small, but packing a punch. While the Enterprise is longer and much more graceful with two nacelle struts in a V, like an eagle. This really hits home when the Enterprise is cruising towards the Mutara Nebula with the Reliant hot on its heels.
The final battle is tense, just like the u-boat films which Nicholas Meyer referenced on his commentary of the DVD. But what's so important is how slow the ships move. This is what is great about Trek, they are these giant ships and they act like it. When the Reliant comes charging out of the static towards the Enterprise, we can see Kirk pivoting his chair, while ordering "Evasive starboard!" Yet the ship herself turns much more slowly then his chair pivot. We feel the engines straining for such a maneuver. Is it realistic? Oh hell no, of course not. Ships are weightless in space, yada yada yada. But it doesn't matter, because Trek ships need that sense of size and weight. After all, this is space... they have nothing but the Enterprise and an occasional alien planet. This ship is the workplace, and home, and overall landscape for 500 people. She's as much a character as any of the main characters. So to maintain the heft and importance, it is crucial that the ship not be pulling off all sorts of crazy loop-de-loops or whatnot.
So yea, Wrath of Khan still holds up. That's why it's a classic. I will always have a big goofy grin on my face while watching this film. Just can't help it. And yes, occasionally reciting a line like "Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. The odds will be even."
3. The Rock
Here's a shocker... it's a fucking Michael Bay movie! But ya know what, that doesn't matter, because Michael Bay managed to actually combine his great action sensibilities with superb storytelling. Everything here is outrageous and explosiony and exciting, but without going so far over the top that it becomes incredibly retarded and irritating, e.g. Armageddon, Bad Boys 2. This is, in my opinion, the perfect modern day action flick. Navy Seals, U.S. Marines, jet fighters, a deadly nerve toxin, Sean Connery being a bad ass, Nicholas Cage being crazy fucking Nicholas Cage and allowing us to laugh at him... it has it all. It's sad that all of Bay's films after this have failed to live up to the promise that The Rock showed us. Perhaps he was just more hungry and determined back then, who knows. But even if Transformers 2 and 3 turn out to be turds on the order of the Star Wars prequels, I'll still remember him as the director of this great action flick.
4. Aliens
So many franchises we have today owe their success to Aliens. The Zerg from Starcraft? Aliens. The Tyranids from Warhammer 40k? Aliens. The bugs from Starship Troopers the film (not the book)? Aliens. The Brood from X-Men? Aliens. The Flood from Halo? Aliens. Probably a few others I've missed? Aliens. James Cameron took Ridley Scott's spookhouse in space and completely changed gears to deliver the ultimate scifi war film. Do smartguns on steadycam mounts make a ton of logical sense? Maybe not, but they looked damn cool. So much of what James Cameron designed was incredibly cool and has influenced pop culture. The Pelicans from Halo? Just copies of the Dropship from Aliens. The dropship pilot telling us we're in the pipe five by five? A direct line from Aliens. Angry black sargeant? That's just Apone. Shotgun being good in Doom? Probably Hick's, for close encounters.
The greatness of Aliens, apart from its many cool little tidbits, is the pacing. It's relentless. You're on this sorta roller coaster ride, but it's not quite fun. It's tense, scary, completely draining. And when you think you've managed to escape the worst of it... the Queen pops out of the rear landing gear and you're right back in the thick of it, witnessing an epic fight with a goddamn power loader. This film is great because it dialed absolutely everything up to 11. Looking back, it's easy to see that Alien 3 would've been somewhat of a disappointment no matter what they chose to do. Aliens said pretty much everything that needed to be said about humans in space battling xenomorphs. Game over man, game over.
5. Superman
Yes, another superhero film. This one also has a special place in my heart. Christopher Reeve set the mold for all other actors portraying superheroes. And nobody since has managed to break it. To me, Reeve *is* the Man of Steel. I don't care if the special effects are dated these days. This film's greatness transcends that. After all, Superman Returns had state of the art special effects and yet was a complete failure of a film. Christopher Reeve was able to make me believe a man could fly.
Also, Superman is one of those magical movies that really lodged itself in my mind because it's one of those films that, because of its length, I could never actually finish watching as a kid. Ya know, it's one of those films that you'll catch on tv, or see at a day care center somewhere in Reno, and yet something will always come up which prevents you from getting the ending. Either you'll just fall asleep, or you'll get picked up from the daycare center... just events unfold which prevent a full viewing. For me, it was this film and Back to the Future 2 that always seemed to last forever and I'd never finish till the end. That gave them a sort of mystique in my childhood.
Now, there is one weakness of Superman, and that's the ending. Superman turns the world backwards in time to save Lois and stop California from falling into the ocean. Yes, it's not great... it doesn't really make any sense. But it's one small blemish on an otherwise grand superhero origin story. And honestly, how could you resist the very end when Christopher Reeve flies over the earth at the onset of a new dawn, looks up at us, and smiles in the way that Superman would smile? It's just movie magic, folks.
What makes Superman work is Richard Donner's verisimilitude, especially during the Krypton and Smallville scenes. This movie was the first to tell the superhero origin story, and is still the best one, in my opinion. The shots of the crystalline Kryptonian landscape are awe inspiring. You really believe this is an alien world with an alien people. Smallville looked like the town that Norman Rockwell grew up in. Sure, it doesn't actually exist in real life, but it looks like how we would all want a small American town to look. Who wouldn't want to grow up in a pastural idyllic setting like that? Who could possibly doubt that America's greatest hero would emerge from such a place? When the camera raised and zoomed ahead of Clark and Martha Kent, embracing in a rich field of golden wheat, it was the film was letting us know we had just witnessed the birth of a modern American myth.
And of course, the soundtrack. Who the hell doesn't know the Superman soundtrack? I haven't talked about the soundtrack of any other film on this list, and it's for good reason. None of them matter compared to John Williams' work here. Truly a masterpiece of scoring, and probably his greatest work to date. The notes simply cry out "Superman" even though there aren't any lyrics. Just as Aliens worked to pummel you with dread and suspense, the Superman music worked to uplift the spirit and allow the audience to soar like the Man of Steel himself.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Saavik: Hottest babe in a scifi film? I say yes.
Kirstie Alley was the perfect Saavik. Then she *had* to let success to get to her head and ask for a bigger paycheck. I was rewatching ST2 today and it just occurred to me that Saavik actually was the only Vulcan female in the history of Star Trek to have a decent hairstyle. Robin Curtis had this really horrible do that kinda looked like a mullet. Valeris was just like every other Vulcan female, rocking that horrible bowl cut thing that Vulcans and Romulans love. Only it always looks awful. I dunno, I always had a serious crush on Saavik when I watched ST2 as a kid. Alley was really great at portraying a half-Vulcan/half-Romulan hybrid. Robin Curtis just acted really wooden, which isn't the same as acting Vulcan.
Do you think it should've been Saavik instead of Valeris in Undiscovered Country? I'm totally with Meyer on that. It would've been a great callback to TWOK. The only thing is, I would've wanted Kirstie Alley to do it. And she probably wouldn't, since she was so famous as Rebecca Howe over on Cheers. Meaning an even larger salary demand. Really really would not have wanted Kim Cattrall to play Saavik. That would've been awful.
Am I being too hard on Robin Curtis? Did you like her? She's probably a nice person in real life, but she butchered Saavik beyond recognition. Let's put it this way. At the end of Star Trek 2, you felt like Saavik was a part of the crew, as much as Chekov or Sulu. That's pretty impressive. She's standing right there with them at Spock's funeral. And I felt like she deserved to be there, she'd earned her place at the table. With all that she'd done at the conn throughout the film, I thought she was a pretty great character and definitely more then just a glorified extra. As opposed to, say... Wedge Antilles, a guy who has maybe two lines of dialogue in a film and then goes on to have about 15-20 novels devoted to his life for some reason. I'm not saying that Saavik's the main reason, but people consider TWOK to be the best, and I'd venture to say that Alley's portrayal of that character is one of many factors that lift that film above the others.
Do you think it should've been Saavik instead of Valeris in Undiscovered Country? I'm totally with Meyer on that. It would've been a great callback to TWOK. The only thing is, I would've wanted Kirstie Alley to do it. And she probably wouldn't, since she was so famous as Rebecca Howe over on Cheers. Meaning an even larger salary demand. Really really would not have wanted Kim Cattrall to play Saavik. That would've been awful.
Am I being too hard on Robin Curtis? Did you like her? She's probably a nice person in real life, but she butchered Saavik beyond recognition. Let's put it this way. At the end of Star Trek 2, you felt like Saavik was a part of the crew, as much as Chekov or Sulu. That's pretty impressive. She's standing right there with them at Spock's funeral. And I felt like she deserved to be there, she'd earned her place at the table. With all that she'd done at the conn throughout the film, I thought she was a pretty great character and definitely more then just a glorified extra. As opposed to, say... Wedge Antilles, a guy who has maybe two lines of dialogue in a film and then goes on to have about 15-20 novels devoted to his life for some reason. I'm not saying that Saavik's the main reason, but people consider TWOK to be the best, and I'd venture to say that Alley's portrayal of that character is one of many factors that lift that film above the others.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Star Trek II The Wrath of Khan: Still holds up damn fine.
So, with all the buzz with the first Star Trek reviews pouring out, I figured I'd go and rewatch Star Trek 2 The Wrath of Khan. Ya know, just to revisit a classic. It's one of my favorite films of all time, so this rewatching business... something I do pretty often.
You have to know, Star Trek 2 was one of the first films I remember watching as a young lad. Back in the good ol days, channel 44, which would later go on to become UPN and then the CW, would rerun old movies all the time, and one of those would be Star Trek 2. This was my very first Star Trek film, and left an absolutely indelible impression on me. This film was what made me a Trekkie. It was pretty cool too, cause this was right around the time that TNG was starting up and I was able to watch that great show as it originally ran.
Then my family bought a VCR player and I recorded Star Trek 2. And rewatched it and rewatched it and rewatched it. Fuck all other films, I couldn't get sick of viewing this somewhat poor quality recording. It got to the point where I could pretty much recite the dialogue line for line as they said it onscreen. Ya know how it is, being a young kid and going all crazy trying to ape Ricardo Montalban with fun lines like "To the last... I will grapple with thee. From Hell's heart... I stab at thee! For HATE's SAKE... I spit... my last breath... at thee!" Just wonderful emotional lines that you could really rasp out. Of course, some of the dialogue made absolutely no sense back then. It took me years to figure out exactly what "Sauce for the goose" meant, for example. Still, great childhood memories.
So, that's just a bit of context to let you know how much I cherish this film. The best Star Trek film ever, and my favorite film until The Dark Knight last summer. What Nicholas Meyer pulled off was nothing short of a miracle, when you look back and see that it was following up on Star Trek The Motionless Picture. Who could have had the imagination, and force of persuasion to alter basically the entire Star Trek universe like that? Suddenly... awful pajama uniforms gave way to awesomely elegant red jacket uniforms. With that iconic clasp over the right shoulder? That feature's been copied for fucking decades now, in all kinds of scifi movies and video games. You've gotta give props, that was an amazing costume change. And the single best starship battle, STILL. You can show me all sorts of ship battles from DS9 or Nemesis, but I still hold that Mutara Nebula battle as the greatest ship to ship battle in Trek history. You cannot top that film finale. Which is strange, because it's two Federation starships battling one another.
Then you realize that's what made it great. What was great was how they made it two Federation starships fighting each other. It seems like that would be a weird dynamic, but they make it work. The Reliant is from Starfleet, but it looks totally different from the Enterprise. And I'm not just talking about the red lighting they used, which was blatant as all hell. It's got two low nacelles right under it, far apart, so it kinda looks like a mean pitbull. A pitbull in somewhat of a lean, crouched down posture. Small, but packing a punch. While the Enterprise is longer and much more graceful with two nacelle struts in a V, like an eagle. This really hits home when the Enterprise is cruising towards the Mutara Nebula with the Reliant hot on its heels.
The final battle is tense, just like the u-boat films which Nicholas Meyer referenced on his commentary of the DVD. But what's so important is how slow the ships move. This is what is great about Trek, they are these giant ships and they act like it. When the Reliant comes charging out of the static towards the Enterprise, we can see Kirk pivoting his chair, while ordering "Evasive starboard!" Yet the ship herself turns much more slowly then his chair pivot. We feel the engines straining for such a maneuver. Is it realistic? Oh hell no, of course not. Ships are weightless in space, yada yada yada. But it doesn't matter, because Trek ships need that sense of size and weight. After all, this is space... they have nothing but the Enterprise and an occasional alien planet. This ship is the workplace, and home, and overall landscape for 500 people. She's as much a character as any of the main characters. So to maintain the heft and importance, it is crucial that the ship not be pulling off all sorts of crazy loop-de-loops or whatnot.
So yea, Wrath of Khan still holds up. That's why it's a classic. I will always have a big goofy grin on my face while watching this film. Just can't help it. And yes, occasionally reciting a line like "Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. The odds will be even."
You have to know, Star Trek 2 was one of the first films I remember watching as a young lad. Back in the good ol days, channel 44, which would later go on to become UPN and then the CW, would rerun old movies all the time, and one of those would be Star Trek 2. This was my very first Star Trek film, and left an absolutely indelible impression on me. This film was what made me a Trekkie. It was pretty cool too, cause this was right around the time that TNG was starting up and I was able to watch that great show as it originally ran.
Then my family bought a VCR player and I recorded Star Trek 2. And rewatched it and rewatched it and rewatched it. Fuck all other films, I couldn't get sick of viewing this somewhat poor quality recording. It got to the point where I could pretty much recite the dialogue line for line as they said it onscreen. Ya know how it is, being a young kid and going all crazy trying to ape Ricardo Montalban with fun lines like "To the last... I will grapple with thee. From Hell's heart... I stab at thee! For HATE's SAKE... I spit... my last breath... at thee!" Just wonderful emotional lines that you could really rasp out. Of course, some of the dialogue made absolutely no sense back then. It took me years to figure out exactly what "Sauce for the goose" meant, for example. Still, great childhood memories.
So, that's just a bit of context to let you know how much I cherish this film. The best Star Trek film ever, and my favorite film until The Dark Knight last summer. What Nicholas Meyer pulled off was nothing short of a miracle, when you look back and see that it was following up on Star Trek The Motionless Picture. Who could have had the imagination, and force of persuasion to alter basically the entire Star Trek universe like that? Suddenly... awful pajama uniforms gave way to awesomely elegant red jacket uniforms. With that iconic clasp over the right shoulder? That feature's been copied for fucking decades now, in all kinds of scifi movies and video games. You've gotta give props, that was an amazing costume change. And the single best starship battle, STILL. You can show me all sorts of ship battles from DS9 or Nemesis, but I still hold that Mutara Nebula battle as the greatest ship to ship battle in Trek history. You cannot top that film finale. Which is strange, because it's two Federation starships battling one another.
Then you realize that's what made it great. What was great was how they made it two Federation starships fighting each other. It seems like that would be a weird dynamic, but they make it work. The Reliant is from Starfleet, but it looks totally different from the Enterprise. And I'm not just talking about the red lighting they used, which was blatant as all hell. It's got two low nacelles right under it, far apart, so it kinda looks like a mean pitbull. A pitbull in somewhat of a lean, crouched down posture. Small, but packing a punch. While the Enterprise is longer and much more graceful with two nacelle struts in a V, like an eagle. This really hits home when the Enterprise is cruising towards the Mutara Nebula with the Reliant hot on its heels.
The final battle is tense, just like the u-boat films which Nicholas Meyer referenced on his commentary of the DVD. But what's so important is how slow the ships move. This is what is great about Trek, they are these giant ships and they act like it. When the Reliant comes charging out of the static towards the Enterprise, we can see Kirk pivoting his chair, while ordering "Evasive starboard!" Yet the ship herself turns much more slowly then his chair pivot. We feel the engines straining for such a maneuver. Is it realistic? Oh hell no, of course not. Ships are weightless in space, yada yada yada. But it doesn't matter, because Trek ships need that sense of size and weight. After all, this is space... they have nothing but the Enterprise and an occasional alien planet. This ship is the workplace, and home, and overall landscape for 500 people. She's as much a character as any of the main characters. So to maintain the heft and importance, it is crucial that the ship not be pulling off all sorts of crazy loop-de-loops or whatnot.
So yea, Wrath of Khan still holds up. That's why it's a classic. I will always have a big goofy grin on my face while watching this film. Just can't help it. And yes, occasionally reciting a line like "Sauce for the goose, Mr. Saavik. The odds will be even."
Friday, March 13, 2009
Retarded Trekkie is Retarded.
Of course, any real Trekkie would know that the Original Series took place in the 23rd century, not the 24th century.
And ya know, it's wholly possible that all provincial-minded activists were killed in the unfortunate happenings of the Third World War.
God, I need a girlfriend.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Star Trek: The one romance I was actually interested in.
WTF ever happened to Picard and Crusher's romantic subplot? Seven seasons, and it pretty much went nowhere. Sure, they stuck in that lame "Attached" episode at the end to sorta appease us, but it was too little too late IMO. Here's what I wish Picard had said:
"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Beverly, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."
Yes, Chasing Amy is the fucking shit.
"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Beverly, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."
Yes, Chasing Amy is the fucking shit.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Star Trek: A Shitty List
Oh my god... this is the worst list I've ever seen:
Shitty List
Shitty List
I just can't comprehend anyone placing TWOK below first or second. It just doesn't make any logical sense. Dismay grows heavy in my heart.
Some have criticized Kirk's midlife crisis in the plot, but I didn't have a problem with that, it made him much more human, instead of a caricature. And it had only partly to do with his age. Much of it was concentrated around his life as a deskbound admiral pushing data readouts. Seemed like a natural development. Didn't grate on me at all. Actually, I think the first time I watched it as a kid, I was really only bothered by the fact that the Reliant was taken over so easily and that we as the audience didn't get to see any of that.
Some people occasionally have VI The Undiscovered Country as their number one.
Some have criticized Kirk's midlife crisis in the plot, but I didn't have a problem with that, it made him much more human, instead of a caricature. And it had only partly to do with his age. Much of it was concentrated around his life as a deskbound admiral pushing data readouts. Seemed like a natural development. Didn't grate on me at all. Actually, I think the first time I watched it as a kid, I was really only bothered by the fact that the Reliant was taken over so easily and that we as the audience didn't get to see any of that.
Some people occasionally have VI The Undiscovered Country as their number one.
I can see where they're coming from with that. VI was also done by Nicholas Meyer and great in its own way.
VI was just more of a whodunit instead of a pure action adventure like TWOK. The ending battle with the Excelly and the BoP was fine, but the preceding scenes of Kirk and McCoy escaping from the mining prison and everybody searching through their drawers on the Enterprise... those didn't really captivate me. I'll always just remember it as the fitting swan song for the TOS crew that the TNG crew never got.
VI was just more of a whodunit instead of a pure action adventure like TWOK. The ending battle with the Excelly and the BoP was fine, but the preceding scenes of Kirk and McCoy escaping from the mining prison and everybody searching through their drawers on the Enterprise... those didn't really captivate me. I'll always just remember it as the fitting swan song for the TOS crew that the TNG crew never got.
Star Trek: The Enterprise C
That design to me, is everything the Galaxy class was supposed to be and failed to accomplish. It took everything from the Connie Refit and Excelsior and advanced that design aesthetic to the 24th century, but with the proper proportions that the Galaxy lacked. The only flaw I can think of is how they forgot to include a photon torp launcher on the neck.
The Galaxy just looks grossly misproportioned though. Saucer's too big. Oval. Engineering section's got that hideous deflector that looked like a bullseye. Stubby and insubstantial nacelles. The one thing I felt the Galaxy did get right was the main shuttlebay on the saucer. That looked good and made sense, given the immense size of the ship. Unfortunately, they did away with the traditional shuttlebay on the engineering section, which I felt was a mistake. Another thing the Ambassador class did right, it had both.
Oh yea, the Galaxy also started the tradition of giving the bottom of the saucer a "Captain's yacht" which was completely unnecessary and offensive. Why would you design a special pleasure boat for the Captain to use? He's too good for a shuttle? It was ridiculous. Once you start making Captain's yachts, what's next? Making the bridge detachable and calling it a Captain's Command Craft?
The central problem of the Galaxy? It looks like a cruise liner. Which is completely what I DON'T want my Federation starships to look like. I like my Fed starships to look like hardcore warships. I wasn't asking for a dystopian look either. I mean, I'm not asking for the Sulaco here. But you look at the Connie Refit, and that neck photon torp launcher is big and prominent and menacing while also quite stylish and beautiful. That's what I mean.
I really feel that the Ent D went too far in the opposite direction. The thing looks like fully half of its surface is composed of windows. That's what makes it look like a cruise liner. And I can't help but feel like that looks structurally weak. Like, if it look a photon torp, it'd just hit windows and collapse a large part of the hull. Sure, it's scifi and technology means it's probably just fine, but the abundance of windows makes it look weak. The other starship designs had windows too, but never as many proportionally as the Galaxy.
You know what, that whole tone of the more peaceful time just didn't work for me. It made for some of TNG's worst episodes. It was responsible for the low points. And by that, I mean Holodeck episodes. As opposed to the highs of TNG, which were all pretty much the gritty hardcore episodes: Best of Both Worlds, Yesterday's Enterprise.
Were you ever let down that they never ever followed through on Picard and Crusher? And that episode Attached didn't fit the bill. Too little, too late. What can I say, guess I'm just an ol romantic.
But yea, Holodecks... hate em hate em hate em. Holodeck malfunctions, wacky hijinks ensue. With some sort of Sherlock Holmes or Gangster theme. What were they smoking back then? But I guess what's silliest is how they ever get access to the holodeck in the first place, considering there are 4 holodecks and they have to share it with a thousand other people on the ship. So you shouldn't ever have enough time to get holoaddiction or screw stuff up.
I just rewatched Best of Both Worlds Part 2 yesterday and this exchange really struck me as embodying what was great about the episode, and what was great about the best episodes in general.
Guinan: "I've heard a lot of people talking down in Ten-Forward. They expect to be dead in the next day or so. They trust you. They like you. But they don't believe anyone can save them."
Riker: "I'm not sure anyone can."
The entire dark tone is just something so refreshing and exciting after the mellow meandering of the first two seasons. That exchange, full of despair, fear, and solemn resolve, really showed what the best kind of Star Trek storytelling could achieve.
All the best Star Trek episodes have moments like that. Sure, we've also got to deal with holodeck hijinks, microfractures in the dilithium recalibration chamber, remodulating the deflector array to emit a graviton pulse, stuff like that... technobabble that makes no sense. That's also a part of Trek, and it can't ever fully leave, because we need that stuff too. But the decline in the later Trek series is, I think, due to the fact that that latter stuff completely took over, and we weren't given any of the former.
The Galaxy just looks grossly misproportioned though. Saucer's too big. Oval. Engineering section's got that hideous deflector that looked like a bullseye. Stubby and insubstantial nacelles. The one thing I felt the Galaxy did get right was the main shuttlebay on the saucer. That looked good and made sense, given the immense size of the ship. Unfortunately, they did away with the traditional shuttlebay on the engineering section, which I felt was a mistake. Another thing the Ambassador class did right, it had both.
Oh yea, the Galaxy also started the tradition of giving the bottom of the saucer a "Captain's yacht" which was completely unnecessary and offensive. Why would you design a special pleasure boat for the Captain to use? He's too good for a shuttle? It was ridiculous. Once you start making Captain's yachts, what's next? Making the bridge detachable and calling it a Captain's Command Craft?
The central problem of the Galaxy? It looks like a cruise liner. Which is completely what I DON'T want my Federation starships to look like. I like my Fed starships to look like hardcore warships. I wasn't asking for a dystopian look either. I mean, I'm not asking for the Sulaco here. But you look at the Connie Refit, and that neck photon torp launcher is big and prominent and menacing while also quite stylish and beautiful. That's what I mean.
I really feel that the Ent D went too far in the opposite direction. The thing looks like fully half of its surface is composed of windows. That's what makes it look like a cruise liner. And I can't help but feel like that looks structurally weak. Like, if it look a photon torp, it'd just hit windows and collapse a large part of the hull. Sure, it's scifi and technology means it's probably just fine, but the abundance of windows makes it look weak. The other starship designs had windows too, but never as many proportionally as the Galaxy.
You know what, that whole tone of the more peaceful time just didn't work for me. It made for some of TNG's worst episodes. It was responsible for the low points. And by that, I mean Holodeck episodes. As opposed to the highs of TNG, which were all pretty much the gritty hardcore episodes: Best of Both Worlds, Yesterday's Enterprise.
Were you ever let down that they never ever followed through on Picard and Crusher? And that episode Attached didn't fit the bill. Too little, too late. What can I say, guess I'm just an ol romantic.
But yea, Holodecks... hate em hate em hate em. Holodeck malfunctions, wacky hijinks ensue. With some sort of Sherlock Holmes or Gangster theme. What were they smoking back then? But I guess what's silliest is how they ever get access to the holodeck in the first place, considering there are 4 holodecks and they have to share it with a thousand other people on the ship. So you shouldn't ever have enough time to get holoaddiction or screw stuff up.
I just rewatched Best of Both Worlds Part 2 yesterday and this exchange really struck me as embodying what was great about the episode, and what was great about the best episodes in general.
Guinan: "I've heard a lot of people talking down in Ten-Forward. They expect to be dead in the next day or so. They trust you. They like you. But they don't believe anyone can save them."
Riker: "I'm not sure anyone can."
The entire dark tone is just something so refreshing and exciting after the mellow meandering of the first two seasons. That exchange, full of despair, fear, and solemn resolve, really showed what the best kind of Star Trek storytelling could achieve.
All the best Star Trek episodes have moments like that. Sure, we've also got to deal with holodeck hijinks, microfractures in the dilithium recalibration chamber, remodulating the deflector array to emit a graviton pulse, stuff like that... technobabble that makes no sense. That's also a part of Trek, and it can't ever fully leave, because we need that stuff too. But the decline in the later Trek series is, I think, due to the fact that that latter stuff completely took over, and we weren't given any of the former.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
