So I just went surfing on wikipedia a bit and found out that Lennier was in love in Delenn. Ya know, I always thought there was something going on in there with those two. But of course, this love is unrequited, since Delenn goes and marries Sheridan.
Ya know, that must've been really hard for Lennier, having to hide his feelings all those years while serving Delenn. I mean, super super hard and frustrating and hard and difficult and frustrating. Sexually frustrating too. It's just sad how that turned out, right? Here's this girl you've known and been close to all these years, but does she feel the same way as you do? No, she's just running off into the arms of this station captain/commander guy. Is Sheridan a captain or a commander? I dunno. Sisko was commander of DS9 before getting to captain, so I guess stations can be commanded by a commander instead of a captain. But Sheridan sounds kinda like he'd be a captain, doesn't he? Nevermind, the point is... Lennier got the short end of the stick, so to speak. Just stuck at "friend." How's he supposed to live like that? It must've been torture, pur tortue. Like, a hole burning through the back of his mind everytime he had to look at her, right? Cause she's just there, nonchalant, probably thinking about Sheridan, while he's wondering why he can't win her eye.
Cause seriously, if you've known someone for eight or more years and you still love them throughout that time, it's not gonna change or go away. He's not somehow going to "get over it." So he just keeps holding his hidden torch for her. Lennier, he just isn't able to see himself with any other woman. It's because he's put Delenn up on this Minbari pedestal and ya know, it's just possible for any other woman to measure up. It's this really deep and intense love and sometimes he just wants to curl up and die because, well... why not? Why not just curl up and die when Delenn will never ever return your feelings and enjoys the company of a guy named Sheridan? It's just so sad and unfortunate for Lennier.
I bet you Lennier grew up watching Hollywood movies. Er, I mean... Minbari movies. Perhaps action flicks. And of course, at the end of the film, the hero always gets the girl, right? Lennier probably absorbed all those films. He probably based his entire concept of love and romance around the dynamics of those relationships onscreen and how it always turned out well. Except real life, it just doesn't work that way. It isn't like a movie. In real life, a lot of love is unrequited, no matter how well you think you belong with someone else. No matter how well you get along with her as friends. In the movies, the other jock dude always lost in the end. Yet in this case, Sheridan being the jock... it doesn't follow the script. How bitter and unfair life is, Lennier must've thought.
He probably even thought, ya know what, I'll just send her an e-mail. Something short and sweet like "I <3 you." And instead of actually writing the word "love," he uses this emoticon that feels a little lighter and fluffier. So when she reacts poorly, he can just say that it's this uh, happy greeting that he gives to everyone on his email list. Ya know, just so he won't be completely humiliated when she rejects him? Or something like that.
And Lennier, he probably also had these moments where he'd be so frustrated and upset over pining for Delenn instead of being in an actual healthy romantic relationship with her that he'd mentally curse her as a bitch, or a whore or some other horrible thing. Of course, he's immediately regret it and take it back, because how could he actually say such awful things... he's in love with Delenn. It's a really frustrating and awful situation, but Delenn's not to blame. She's still awesome and intelligent and funny and great to be around. It's not her fault she doesn't feel that way for Lennier. It's nobody's fault but his, right? Cause he had to have these terrible feelings that're now ruining his life. So he starts mentally cursing himself. Of course, it's him and his warped sense of romance and all that.
Ultimately, he thinks... man, this is a really intolerable situation. And I'm gonna just hide my feelings inside and keep em in there until... I guess I'll somehow emotionally break down and reveal em? Maybe? It'd probably be pretty damn humiliating for me and solve nothing though. Cause she'll just say something that'll completely destroy me and drive me into further depths of depression. Perhaps I'll just jump off a bridge in the meantime. Or no, not a bridge. Cause there aren't any bridges over water bodies in outer space. How silly of me. I guess I'll think of something else. I'll think of something else.
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Showing posts with label television. Show all posts
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
ExoSquad: Memorable Quotation of the Day
Episode 1x11 - The First Step
Thrax: "We succeed or fail, for the glory of Phaeton?"
Glycon: "Phaeton is our leader, unfortunately."
Thrax: "Unfortunately."
Glycon: "But that's not our concern, we're soldiers. I've ordered a counterattack with all remaining forces to retake the main base. The attack will draw in the Terran e-frames, then you must lead an attack on the ExoCruisers."
Thrax: "Yes, Sir."
Glycon: "Thrax, we have one scout ship left. If the attack fails you must take as many of our people as you can and escape to Venus."
Thrax: "What about you?"
Glycon: "I will lead the counterattack."
Thrax: "You are sacrificing yourself for nothing."
Glycon: "Has it not occurred to you that we are all sacrificing ourselves for nothing? It has become Phaeton's war, not ours."
Sharos: "What are Glycon's orders?"
Thrax: "Do you never grow tired of it, Sharos? The fighting?"
Sharos: "It is what we were bred for."
Thrax: "And when the war is over? What will we do then?"
Sharos: "For us, the war will never be over."
Thrax: "We succeed or fail, for the glory of Phaeton?"
Glycon: "Phaeton is our leader, unfortunately."
Thrax: "Unfortunately."
Glycon: "But that's not our concern, we're soldiers. I've ordered a counterattack with all remaining forces to retake the main base. The attack will draw in the Terran e-frames, then you must lead an attack on the ExoCruisers."
Thrax: "Yes, Sir."
Glycon: "Thrax, we have one scout ship left. If the attack fails you must take as many of our people as you can and escape to Venus."
Thrax: "What about you?"
Glycon: "I will lead the counterattack."
Thrax: "You are sacrificing yourself for nothing."
Glycon: "Has it not occurred to you that we are all sacrificing ourselves for nothing? It has become Phaeton's war, not ours."
Sharos: "What are Glycon's orders?"
Thrax: "Do you never grow tired of it, Sharos? The fighting?"
Sharos: "It is what we were bred for."
Thrax: "And when the war is over? What will we do then?"
Sharos: "For us, the war will never be over."
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Watching Babylon 5: 2x5 - The Long Dark
Well fuck me... it's Lt. Reginald Barclay going all crazy here. Probably suffering from holo-addiction again, hehe.
Isn't it strange how all blankets in the future look like they're made out of tin foil? Or a car sunshade, I guess? That's gotta be damn uncomfortable. Star Trek TNG had the same exact blankets.
Asian security guard: "Damn lurkers... we oughta space all of em!" <-this right here is possibly the worst line reading I've ever heard.
Wait wait... this guard... he just said he "missed" the war? How the fuck do you miss a war when it's aliens trying to annihilate humanity? That doesn't seem like the sort of draft you can dodge. And Garibaldi's about the same age as he is, near as I can tell.
Ah jeez... the Doctor's already hooking up with that woman? After she just found out her husband's dead? That's pretty messed up. With her being in stasis for over a hundred years, it's gotta be drier then the Sahara down there...
Wow... the final showdown with the beast. I think I'm gonna lay off the CGI of the actual thing, since it's not good, but not mindnumbingly bad. Just gotta accept it, I guess. But... uh, the muzzle flash of their advanced scifi guns, that was really poorly done. There's no other way to describe that CGI. It looked like they just cut out the muzzle flashes from guns in comic books and pasted them into the scene. No idea why they didn't just use actual guns with actual muzzle flash. That would've worked out fine.
Oh snap, it was heading for Za Ha Doom. That means the invisible killer must've been some sort of disembodied Shadow. Nice continuity thread.
Isn't it strange how all blankets in the future look like they're made out of tin foil? Or a car sunshade, I guess? That's gotta be damn uncomfortable. Star Trek TNG had the same exact blankets.
Asian security guard: "Damn lurkers... we oughta space all of em!" <-this right here is possibly the worst line reading I've ever heard.
Wait wait... this guard... he just said he "missed" the war? How the fuck do you miss a war when it's aliens trying to annihilate humanity? That doesn't seem like the sort of draft you can dodge. And Garibaldi's about the same age as he is, near as I can tell.
Ah jeez... the Doctor's already hooking up with that woman? After she just found out her husband's dead? That's pretty messed up. With her being in stasis for over a hundred years, it's gotta be drier then the Sahara down there...
Wow... the final showdown with the beast. I think I'm gonna lay off the CGI of the actual thing, since it's not good, but not mindnumbingly bad. Just gotta accept it, I guess. But... uh, the muzzle flash of their advanced scifi guns, that was really poorly done. There's no other way to describe that CGI. It looked like they just cut out the muzzle flashes from guns in comic books and pasted them into the scene. No idea why they didn't just use actual guns with actual muzzle flash. That would've worked out fine.
Oh snap, it was heading for Za Ha Doom. That means the invisible killer must've been some sort of disembodied Shadow. Nice continuity thread.
Watching Babylon 5: 2x4 - A Distant Star
My impressions of the fourth episode of the second season:
Ya know, Garibaldi seems like such a nice affable guy. It's hard to believe he eventually turns into a bad egg. Wait... is it bad egg or bad apple? I think I meant to say bad apple. It's either bad apple or rotten egg, right? That sounds better.
Overall, no complaints about this episode. It was actually pretty good. I just thought everything pretty much worked. The friendship between Sheridan and the other captain seemed natural enough and not forced, we got some action (finally) with the Starfury rescue in hyperjump/hyperspace/subspace/Idon'tknowwhattheycallitinthisshow, and the humor with the main characters going on the food plan(diet) was pretty good, unlike the Drazi scenes from the other episode which I really did *not* like.
It's funny, the scene where Garibaldi was smuggling in ingredients for his traditional Italian dish really kinda reminded me of a SeaQuest DSV episode where a crewmember was smuggling in real beef for a hamburger, since meat had been outlawed in the future. But instead of getting caught and having the meal thrown out like in that show, it actually ended with him making the dish and sharing it with the Doctor in this really sorta... cozy and humorous scene.
And Delenn had some really poetic words about the universe at the end. Kinda fortune cookie-esque, but what can ya do... wise aliens always say stuff like that.
Only real flaws were the terrible acting from the panicked bridge crew on the Cortez, and the comm officer who had this really heavy Chinese accent for some reason. And uh, the CGI for the Cortez was pretty terrible, the texturing and geometry looked like something made in DoGA. I'd be really curious to see what Babylon 5 would look like if they'd used real models instead of CGI, like TNG and the first half of DS9.
Oh wow, I just found out D.C. Fontana wrote the 4th episode. That makes a lot of sense now.
Ya know, Garibaldi seems like such a nice affable guy. It's hard to believe he eventually turns into a bad egg. Wait... is it bad egg or bad apple? I think I meant to say bad apple. It's either bad apple or rotten egg, right? That sounds better.
Overall, no complaints about this episode. It was actually pretty good. I just thought everything pretty much worked. The friendship between Sheridan and the other captain seemed natural enough and not forced, we got some action (finally) with the Starfury rescue in hyperjump/hyperspace/subspace/Idon'tknowwhattheycallitinthisshow, and the humor with the main characters going on the food plan(diet) was pretty good, unlike the Drazi scenes from the other episode which I really did *not* like.
It's funny, the scene where Garibaldi was smuggling in ingredients for his traditional Italian dish really kinda reminded me of a SeaQuest DSV episode where a crewmember was smuggling in real beef for a hamburger, since meat had been outlawed in the future. But instead of getting caught and having the meal thrown out like in that show, it actually ended with him making the dish and sharing it with the Doctor in this really sorta... cozy and humorous scene.
And Delenn had some really poetic words about the universe at the end. Kinda fortune cookie-esque, but what can ya do... wise aliens always say stuff like that.
Only real flaws were the terrible acting from the panicked bridge crew on the Cortez, and the comm officer who had this really heavy Chinese accent for some reason. And uh, the CGI for the Cortez was pretty terrible, the texturing and geometry looked like something made in DoGA. I'd be really curious to see what Babylon 5 would look like if they'd used real models instead of CGI, like TNG and the first half of DS9.
Oh wow, I just found out D.C. Fontana wrote the 4th episode. That makes a lot of sense now.
Watching Babylon 5: 2x3 - The Geometry of Shadows
My impressions of the third episode of the second season:
A big WTF. Just WTF were you thinking, JMS? I am completely amazed at this episode. No, not because Kang was a techno mage. Yes, a techno mage, these things apparently exist. Not like the dude Teknoman from the UPN cartoon. A techno mage, sorta like a ripoff of a ComStar adept I guess? Whatever, that was fine...
What was not fine was the terrible CGI they used to create this.. big ogre-like creature in the techno mage's dwelling. That was uh, pretty fucking awful. I dunno why they didn't just keep it shrouded in the shadows, that would've given us an impression of a big threatening hulk instead of showing us this really poor CGI creation that looked like something from Poser. A really early edition of Poser.
The real meat of this episode was the Drazi. The motherfucking Drazi with their idiotic green and purple ribbons. This is what we're supposed to be entertained by? Fucking Drazi fighting over two colors? Wow... way to treat your audience like children, JMS. This is humor that 6 year olds might find funny in a cartoon show. But... from what I've read, Babylon 5 is supposed to be some sort of deep, adult drama that happens to be set in a scifi universe? Did I get that right? From the man himself:
"Once I had the locale, I began to populate it with characters, and sketch out directions that might be interesting. I dragged out my notes on religion, philosophy, history, sociology, psychology, science (the ones that didn't make my head explode), and started stitching together a crazy quilt pattern that eventually formed a picture."
Really? So this gritty adult take on the human condition, cobbled together with your ponderings on weighty issues like religion, philosophy, sociology, and science... it's to give us scenes of idiot Drazi killing each other because of green or purple ribbons? Wow dude... just wow. I dunno what you're smoking, but it's something awful strong. This... this is just mindboggling. Why, why would you sabotage your own apparent magnum opus with this childish bullshit? Why subject us, the viewers, to this imbecilic display of vapid nonsense? Please... for the love of God, don't write anymore episodes like this. Drama is good, science and politics are good... aliens who wage war for colors and then follow the person who snatches a leader ribbon from the leader... that's fucking horrible and awful and BAD.
BTW, did anyone notice if those crutches Ivanova used were standard medical crutches, or were they made to look like futuristic scifi crutches?
A big WTF. Just WTF were you thinking, JMS? I am completely amazed at this episode. No, not because Kang was a techno mage. Yes, a techno mage, these things apparently exist. Not like the dude Teknoman from the UPN cartoon. A techno mage, sorta like a ripoff of a ComStar adept I guess? Whatever, that was fine...
What was not fine was the terrible CGI they used to create this.. big ogre-like creature in the techno mage's dwelling. That was uh, pretty fucking awful. I dunno why they didn't just keep it shrouded in the shadows, that would've given us an impression of a big threatening hulk instead of showing us this really poor CGI creation that looked like something from Poser. A really early edition of Poser.
The real meat of this episode was the Drazi. The motherfucking Drazi with their idiotic green and purple ribbons. This is what we're supposed to be entertained by? Fucking Drazi fighting over two colors? Wow... way to treat your audience like children, JMS. This is humor that 6 year olds might find funny in a cartoon show. But... from what I've read, Babylon 5 is supposed to be some sort of deep, adult drama that happens to be set in a scifi universe? Did I get that right? From the man himself:
"Once I had the locale, I began to populate it with characters, and sketch out directions that might be interesting. I dragged out my notes on religion, philosophy, history, sociology, psychology, science (the ones that didn't make my head explode), and started stitching together a crazy quilt pattern that eventually formed a picture."
Really? So this gritty adult take on the human condition, cobbled together with your ponderings on weighty issues like religion, philosophy, sociology, and science... it's to give us scenes of idiot Drazi killing each other because of green or purple ribbons? Wow dude... just wow. I dunno what you're smoking, but it's something awful strong. This... this is just mindboggling. Why, why would you sabotage your own apparent magnum opus with this childish bullshit? Why subject us, the viewers, to this imbecilic display of vapid nonsense? Please... for the love of God, don't write anymore episodes like this. Drama is good, science and politics are good... aliens who wage war for colors and then follow the person who snatches a leader ribbon from the leader... that's fucking horrible and awful and BAD.
BTW, did anyone notice if those crutches Ivanova used were standard medical crutches, or were they made to look like futuristic scifi crutches?
Friday, April 24, 2009
ExoSquad: Memorable Quotation of the Day
Episode 1x13 - Defying Olympus
JT Marsh: "Goodbye... and thanks."
ExoFrame: "Farewell, Operator JT Marsh."
JT Marsh: "What...? It talked to me. I wasn't plugged in but... it talked to me."
Marsala: "Humans are great creators Lieutenant, though often unaware of the consequences of their gift."
Marsala: "It is finished, JT. We have miscalculated. We have only minutes until Olympus Mons is destroyed. We have won the battle, but for us the war is over. It is a little thing we lose, compared with the stars."
JT Marsh: "Goodbye... and thanks."
ExoFrame: "Farewell, Operator JT Marsh."
JT Marsh: "What...? It talked to me. I wasn't plugged in but... it talked to me."
Marsala: "Humans are great creators Lieutenant, though often unaware of the consequences of their gift."
Marsala: "It is finished, JT. We have miscalculated. We have only minutes until Olympus Mons is destroyed. We have won the battle, but for us the war is over. It is a little thing we lose, compared with the stars."
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
ExoSquad: Memorable Quotation of the Day
Episode 1x4 - Blitzkrieg
"Since its conception, the Neosapien race has lived under the oppressive rule of a homo sapien regime. Forced to work and serve as slave labor, only to benefit Terran objectives. Today marks the beginning of a new and enlightened era and the history of your kind comes to an end. The future now belongs to Neosapiens. You as the representatives of the Terran Homeworlds must accept this reality. Your unconditional surrender to us, to me, is now a fact.
History will record the inevitability of your decision. Any form of human resistance will be met with immediate extermination. The tables have turned and now you, Terrans, will serve the Neosapien Commonwealth. And I, Phaeton, am now your leader. I now hereby declare this assembly dissolved, as your services are no longer required." -Phaeton
"Since its conception, the Neosapien race has lived under the oppressive rule of a homo sapien regime. Forced to work and serve as slave labor, only to benefit Terran objectives. Today marks the beginning of a new and enlightened era and the history of your kind comes to an end. The future now belongs to Neosapiens. You as the representatives of the Terran Homeworlds must accept this reality. Your unconditional surrender to us, to me, is now a fact.
History will record the inevitability of your decision. Any form of human resistance will be met with immediate extermination. The tables have turned and now you, Terrans, will serve the Neosapien Commonwealth. And I, Phaeton, am now your leader. I now hereby declare this assembly dissolved, as your services are no longer required." -Phaeton
Monday, April 20, 2009
ExoSquad: Memorable Quotation of the Day
Episode 1x12 - Betrayal
"Been through? Been through?! You Terrans have never seen your brood mates sold, beaten, mistreated, treated as cattle and worse. Created as slaves, but with a will to be free. Forced to work, to suffer, to die in horrible conditions for Terran greed. Denied even the right to speak up against such tyranny. This is what I've been through. Speak not to me of loyalty. I am a Neo sapien. Created by Terrans, feared by Terrans, abused by Terrans, but no more! My place is with Phaeton, and yours is in extinction." -Marsala
"Been through? Been through?! You Terrans have never seen your brood mates sold, beaten, mistreated, treated as cattle and worse. Created as slaves, but with a will to be free. Forced to work, to suffer, to die in horrible conditions for Terran greed. Denied even the right to speak up against such tyranny. This is what I've been through. Speak not to me of loyalty. I am a Neo sapien. Created by Terrans, feared by Terrans, abused by Terrans, but no more! My place is with Phaeton, and yours is in extinction." -Marsala
Thoughts on the DCAU
Superman TAS was so goddamn weak. Like, there was this one episode where a helicopter with a minigun gave him a lot of trouble. Absolutely retarded.
You know, I wasn't crazy about JLU, mostly because they totally butchered Hawkman, but I always wanted to see them do "Identity Crisis." That sort of story would've been perfect for that format.
Season 4 of Batman TAS sucked ass. All the art looked worse then before because Bruce Timm decided to simplify the animation style, and Batman went from being a grim badass to just being an insufferable jackass. Avoid it like the plague.
Doomsday in the DCAU is not Doomsday. Doomsday in the comics killed Superman. Doomsday in the DCAU got fucking lobotomized by Serious Superman. Lawl. Utter fail.
Unless Serious Superman from the parallel dimension took the equivalent of Kryptonian steroids or something, there's no way that he could use just his heat vision to lobotomize something like Doomsday. It's moronic.
And no, I don't particularly care about Doomsday, but they royally fucked him up in that episode. Dini and co have a pretty good batting average with their body of work, and some ideas are certainly better then what the comics had (Heart of Ice, etc) but they lay some stinkers too. I'm more then happy to point them out.
In fact, the entire Justice Lords story was ridiculous. I mean, I like Wally West as much as the next guy, but his death causes the entire JLA to turn into a bunch of fascist super-dictators? Really? Cmon, you couldn't even convince most of fandom that the destruction of an entire city on some coast would turn a hero into a villain, the death of a Flash ain't gonna do it.
You know, I wasn't crazy about JLU, mostly because they totally butchered Hawkman, but I always wanted to see them do "Identity Crisis." That sort of story would've been perfect for that format.
Season 4 of Batman TAS sucked ass. All the art looked worse then before because Bruce Timm decided to simplify the animation style, and Batman went from being a grim badass to just being an insufferable jackass. Avoid it like the plague.
Doomsday in the DCAU is not Doomsday. Doomsday in the comics killed Superman. Doomsday in the DCAU got fucking lobotomized by Serious Superman. Lawl. Utter fail.
Unless Serious Superman from the parallel dimension took the equivalent of Kryptonian steroids or something, there's no way that he could use just his heat vision to lobotomize something like Doomsday. It's moronic.
And no, I don't particularly care about Doomsday, but they royally fucked him up in that episode. Dini and co have a pretty good batting average with their body of work, and some ideas are certainly better then what the comics had (Heart of Ice, etc) but they lay some stinkers too. I'm more then happy to point them out.
In fact, the entire Justice Lords story was ridiculous. I mean, I like Wally West as much as the next guy, but his death causes the entire JLA to turn into a bunch of fascist super-dictators? Really? Cmon, you couldn't even convince most of fandom that the destruction of an entire city on some coast would turn a hero into a villain, the death of a Flash ain't gonna do it.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Watching Babylon 5: 2x2 - Revelations
Holy God, the cocoon's leaking some nasty liquid. Now I'm posivitely certain the Minbari aren't gonna get their security deposit back, that is just unsanitary...
Londo doesn't seem to like G'Kar's people. There seems to be shenanigans afoot. Ya know, it kinda reminds me of a similar relationship, between the Cardassians and the Bajorans. That was another show that took place aboard a space station. Fancy that, what a coincidence.
And the actor who plays Morden... he's really really good at being smug. Smugness, it must've been one of the qualities listed on his resume. It's sort of a smarmy smugness. Smug mixed with smarmness? Anyways, he's amazing at it.
Wow, Delenn's now a cross between Palpatine and the Elephant Man. And gained the rare skin condition of Killer Croc. That's not an attractive feature.
Hmmmm, transferring one's life-force energy to another? How the hell do these actors keep a straight face while delivering these lines? I certainly can't, I've just been laughing along.
Wow, they sure like keeping a close up shot on Garibaldi's nostrils.
Fuck, I can't believe half of this episode is about Sheridan talking to his goddamn sister, who's played by this terribly wooden actress. And what do they talk about? His dead wife. This is exhilarating stuff, guys. Keep up the good work!
This actress playing the sister truly is horrible though. Not all that attractive either. This episode is the pits so far.
Is that a nicotrol patch on Sheridan's hand?
"I just didn't want her to go without telling her I loved her... one last time." Wow... could you be anymore cliched? Who wrote this fucking dialogue?
Wow Doctor, haven't you ever heard you're not supposed to pick at scabs? Delenn really needs some moisturizer... in a 5 gallon container. What are you? Well, right now you're pretty butt ugly, that's what you are. But don't worry, I'm sure there's some sort of parable about an ugly duckling that's lurking around somewhere in this script.
Why that wacky Londo, so sneaky and treacherous. Of course it's a good idea to tell Morden about the ship going to Za Ha Doom, it's not like Morden works for the Shadows or anything. And G'Kar... what a trusting guy to inform Londo. You seriously didn't have to tell him the exact time the scout ship was jumping in, that's just stupid.
Woot, it's that hot CNN anchorwoman, only here she's some psychic.
Wow, that was actually a nice scene. Found out about the unknown assassin and caught him with the hijinks of Butterfly Delenn.
Hmmmm... President Clark just happens to want the suspected assassin and all the evidence turned over to him at once. This isn't suspicious in the least.
"It's a trap!" Wow, those Shivan lasers are pretty powerful. Or the Narn ship is really fucking weak.
Jeez, Delenn... could you be anymore dramatic? Who walks around with a hood completely covering their face? What, did she just walk to the council chamber by looking at the floor?
So she has hair now? Really? That's the big transformation? Some hair on her head? Someone should've just gotten her a membership to The Hair Club for Men, and saved the whole being-inside-an-icky-cocoon.
Huh. Apparently... Sheridan's wife was Tasha Yar's sister. Small world. And uh, what's with the poor quality of Babylon 5's monitors? They're all fuzzy and the color looks bad.
Londo doesn't seem to like G'Kar's people. There seems to be shenanigans afoot. Ya know, it kinda reminds me of a similar relationship, between the Cardassians and the Bajorans. That was another show that took place aboard a space station. Fancy that, what a coincidence.
And the actor who plays Morden... he's really really good at being smug. Smugness, it must've been one of the qualities listed on his resume. It's sort of a smarmy smugness. Smug mixed with smarmness? Anyways, he's amazing at it.
Wow, Delenn's now a cross between Palpatine and the Elephant Man. And gained the rare skin condition of Killer Croc. That's not an attractive feature.
Hmmmm, transferring one's life-force energy to another? How the hell do these actors keep a straight face while delivering these lines? I certainly can't, I've just been laughing along.
Wow, they sure like keeping a close up shot on Garibaldi's nostrils.
Fuck, I can't believe half of this episode is about Sheridan talking to his goddamn sister, who's played by this terribly wooden actress. And what do they talk about? His dead wife. This is exhilarating stuff, guys. Keep up the good work!
This actress playing the sister truly is horrible though. Not all that attractive either. This episode is the pits so far.
Is that a nicotrol patch on Sheridan's hand?
"I just didn't want her to go without telling her I loved her... one last time." Wow... could you be anymore cliched? Who wrote this fucking dialogue?
Wow Doctor, haven't you ever heard you're not supposed to pick at scabs? Delenn really needs some moisturizer... in a 5 gallon container. What are you? Well, right now you're pretty butt ugly, that's what you are. But don't worry, I'm sure there's some sort of parable about an ugly duckling that's lurking around somewhere in this script.
Why that wacky Londo, so sneaky and treacherous. Of course it's a good idea to tell Morden about the ship going to Za Ha Doom, it's not like Morden works for the Shadows or anything. And G'Kar... what a trusting guy to inform Londo. You seriously didn't have to tell him the exact time the scout ship was jumping in, that's just stupid.
Woot, it's that hot CNN anchorwoman, only here she's some psychic.
Wow, that was actually a nice scene. Found out about the unknown assassin and caught him with the hijinks of Butterfly Delenn.
Hmmmm... President Clark just happens to want the suspected assassin and all the evidence turned over to him at once. This isn't suspicious in the least.
"It's a trap!" Wow, those Shivan lasers are pretty powerful. Or the Narn ship is really fucking weak.
Jeez, Delenn... could you be anymore dramatic? Who walks around with a hood completely covering their face? What, did she just walk to the council chamber by looking at the floor?
So she has hair now? Really? That's the big transformation? Some hair on her head? Someone should've just gotten her a membership to The Hair Club for Men, and saved the whole being-inside-an-icky-cocoon.
Huh. Apparently... Sheridan's wife was Tasha Yar's sister. Small world. And uh, what's with the poor quality of Babylon 5's monitors? They're all fuzzy and the color looks bad.
Watching Babylon 5: 2x1 - Points of Departure
Well, started watching the second season of Babylon 5. Friend of mine said it was really good, so I said whatever, I'll give it a try. Started with the first episode "Points of Departure." That was the name of a custom FreeSpace 2 mission, now that I think about it. Pretty good one too, full of dogfights. Hopefully this isn't too bad.
Great... I start watching Season 2 and already Delenn's in a weird-looking cocoon. I wonder if you lose the security deposit on your apartment if you construct a cocoon inside?
The CGI's just how I remembered it, shit-tastic.
That's kinda humiliating... winning a war because the other side surrendered, even though they won every battle.
So... his brilliant strategy that led to the only victory in the war was... a minefield? Really? Wow. Do they call it the Sheridan Maneuver? It's just so innovative and daring. *rolls eyes*
So the Minbari are way ahead of the humans in technology, but their sensors can't detect a minefield? I think I'm trying pretty hard to like this show. But when something like that comes out, it's hard to suspend one's disbelief.
I would suspect that a race advanced enough to possess interstellar travel would have some sort of sensors to detect crude human fusion mines. Specially since they have a lot of other nifty tech like stealth fields.
And of course, it's not just that. If all you need to do is lay some minefields, why was this the only time a Minbari ship suffered a defeat? What were all the other earth ships doing during the way? Was the Lexington the only one that had fusion mines? Considering this is the single human victory in a war of total extermination, the actual Sheridan Maneuver is just wholly underwhelming.
Oh God, the CGI of that restaurant is fucking terrible. What the hell were they smoking when they came up with that?
It ends with him reading that boring speech in front of nobody? Fuck. Facepalm x100.
Great... I start watching Season 2 and already Delenn's in a weird-looking cocoon. I wonder if you lose the security deposit on your apartment if you construct a cocoon inside?
The CGI's just how I remembered it, shit-tastic.
That's kinda humiliating... winning a war because the other side surrendered, even though they won every battle.
So... his brilliant strategy that led to the only victory in the war was... a minefield? Really? Wow. Do they call it the Sheridan Maneuver? It's just so innovative and daring. *rolls eyes*
So the Minbari are way ahead of the humans in technology, but their sensors can't detect a minefield? I think I'm trying pretty hard to like this show. But when something like that comes out, it's hard to suspend one's disbelief.
I would suspect that a race advanced enough to possess interstellar travel would have some sort of sensors to detect crude human fusion mines. Specially since they have a lot of other nifty tech like stealth fields.
And of course, it's not just that. If all you need to do is lay some minefields, why was this the only time a Minbari ship suffered a defeat? What were all the other earth ships doing during the way? Was the Lexington the only one that had fusion mines? Considering this is the single human victory in a war of total extermination, the actual Sheridan Maneuver is just wholly underwhelming.
Oh God, the CGI of that restaurant is fucking terrible. What the hell were they smoking when they came up with that?
It ends with him reading that boring speech in front of nobody? Fuck. Facepalm x100.
ExoSquad: Analyzing Season 2
Now, I just want to talk about Season 2 for a bit. If you watch it, you'll obviously notice that it isn't quite as good as Season 1. Season 1 was what hooked me into the show, and you can easily tell why... it's incredibly well written and plotted for all 13 episodes and the animation was quite good for that time. There's not a stinker in the group, they're all really enjoyable.
For season 2, the show was gaining popularity and they decided on a much more ambitious 39 episode run. This was triple the number of the original season and probably placed a great deal more pressure on the writers. Like I said, some of the episodes are quite good and the equal of those from the first season, but you can see that a lot of them were just filler and that they were trying to stretch the whole war out to accommodate this larger run. The entry of the Neo-Warriors and the later Neo-Lords can be seen as the point where they may have started to jump the shark, as well as the appearance of the kid-friendly Exo-Scouts. The Neo-Warriors and Neo-Lords were a pretty extreme example of Villain Decay, as they were introduced as invincible new soldiers for Phaeton, only to be mowed down by the Jump Troopers by the end of the season.
The part of the show that took the biggest hit in quality by far was the animation. You really get a sense by watching that they probably contracted out a lot more Korean animation studios to handle the increased workload and that many of these studios were probably far shabbier then the few used for the first season. There are some extreme differences in animation style and the consistency between episodes suffers greatly. For example, you might see a shuttle change designs from one episode to the next. In another, Maggie Weston's Exo-Frame will have an open cockpit requiring her to wear a helmet, when every other episode has shown her cockpit to be enclosed. This sort of thing does get noticeable, but if you've fallen in love with the show from the first season like me, this decline in animation quality will be tolerated just because you're eager for more episodes of ExoSquad.
It's nice to wonder about what would've happened if they'd been a bit more prudent and gone for a smaller episode run for season two. The quality of the writing and animation may have gone up to match that of season one. However, the possibility exists that the show would've still been canceled at the end of season two, in which case we would be left hanging without the conclusion of the entire war. Given that this was a kid's cartoon that managed to deal with war, slavery, prejudice, betrayal, honor, and duty... the fact that it accrued 52 episodes is pretty damn impressive. Ultimately, the show ended with a wholly satisfying end to the Second Neo-Sapien War, and that's much more then you can say for another scifi show, Space Above and Beyond.
For season 2, the show was gaining popularity and they decided on a much more ambitious 39 episode run. This was triple the number of the original season and probably placed a great deal more pressure on the writers. Like I said, some of the episodes are quite good and the equal of those from the first season, but you can see that a lot of them were just filler and that they were trying to stretch the whole war out to accommodate this larger run. The entry of the Neo-Warriors and the later Neo-Lords can be seen as the point where they may have started to jump the shark, as well as the appearance of the kid-friendly Exo-Scouts. The Neo-Warriors and Neo-Lords were a pretty extreme example of Villain Decay, as they were introduced as invincible new soldiers for Phaeton, only to be mowed down by the Jump Troopers by the end of the season.
The part of the show that took the biggest hit in quality by far was the animation. You really get a sense by watching that they probably contracted out a lot more Korean animation studios to handle the increased workload and that many of these studios were probably far shabbier then the few used for the first season. There are some extreme differences in animation style and the consistency between episodes suffers greatly. For example, you might see a shuttle change designs from one episode to the next. In another, Maggie Weston's Exo-Frame will have an open cockpit requiring her to wear a helmet, when every other episode has shown her cockpit to be enclosed. This sort of thing does get noticeable, but if you've fallen in love with the show from the first season like me, this decline in animation quality will be tolerated just because you're eager for more episodes of ExoSquad.
It's nice to wonder about what would've happened if they'd been a bit more prudent and gone for a smaller episode run for season two. The quality of the writing and animation may have gone up to match that of season one. However, the possibility exists that the show would've still been canceled at the end of season two, in which case we would be left hanging without the conclusion of the entire war. Given that this was a kid's cartoon that managed to deal with war, slavery, prejudice, betrayal, honor, and duty... the fact that it accrued 52 episodes is pretty damn impressive. Ultimately, the show ended with a wholly satisfying end to the Second Neo-Sapien War, and that's much more then you can say for another scifi show, Space Above and Beyond.
ExoSquad: Memorable Quotation of the Day
Episode 1x4 - Blitzkrieg
"The birth of the Neosapien order is a thing of beauty. It would be unthinkable to not witness the most important event in history...the moment the Neosapiens seize their destiny. The reign of the old humanity ends this day. We, the stepchildren of mankind, are now its rulers. Think, Typhonus, what the rule of the Neosapiens means. Justice, at last. Logic, at last. Order, at last. Our laws will prevail. What glories the Homeworlds will see, governed by our even hand!" - Phaeton
"The birth of the Neosapien order is a thing of beauty. It would be unthinkable to not witness the most important event in history...the moment the Neosapiens seize their destiny. The reign of the old humanity ends this day. We, the stepchildren of mankind, are now its rulers. Think, Typhonus, what the rule of the Neosapiens means. Justice, at last. Logic, at last. Order, at last. Our laws will prevail. What glories the Homeworlds will see, governed by our even hand!" - Phaeton
Friday, April 17, 2009
ExoSquad Season 2 Highlights
Even though Season 2 suffers from a bit of a sophomore slump after the incredibly well paced Season 1, there are still some outstanding episodes that I love.
2x11 The First Step: A somewhat new take on the old fighter ace duel. Thrax gets the best lines out of all the Neo Sapiens, besides Phaeton.
2x17 Under the Skin: This episode was just heartbreaking. They take an obscure extra from the first season who was KIA and actually make us care about her. It really changes how we look at that photo JT always keeps in his cockpit.
2x31 The Price of Courage: The Battle of the Bulge of ExoSquad, as far as I can tell. Shiva goes from being a villainous enemy general to an actual warrior who goes down fighting even though he knows it's futile. Downer of an ending.
2x34 One Small Step: The episode where someone dies.
2x38 Abandon Hope: The penultimate episode of Season 2, but pretty much the finale as far as I'm concerned, because it completely wraps up the Neo Sapien War. The last shot really sums it all up.
As a kid I missed the episode of Under the Skin and always just sorta assumed that photo JT had was of his wife or girlfriend. But after watching that episode, it's just so much more meaningful whenever you see it on his windshield. If it had been just a photo of his wife, it would've been completely ordinary and a throwaway detail. But him choosing to remind himself of the loss of Alice Noretti, someone he didn't even know all that well... just tells you what kind of a man he is.
2x11 The First Step: A somewhat new take on the old fighter ace duel. Thrax gets the best lines out of all the Neo Sapiens, besides Phaeton.
2x17 Under the Skin: This episode was just heartbreaking. They take an obscure extra from the first season who was KIA and actually make us care about her. It really changes how we look at that photo JT always keeps in his cockpit.
2x31 The Price of Courage: The Battle of the Bulge of ExoSquad, as far as I can tell. Shiva goes from being a villainous enemy general to an actual warrior who goes down fighting even though he knows it's futile. Downer of an ending.
2x34 One Small Step: The episode where someone dies.
2x38 Abandon Hope: The penultimate episode of Season 2, but pretty much the finale as far as I'm concerned, because it completely wraps up the Neo Sapien War. The last shot really sums it all up.
As a kid I missed the episode of Under the Skin and always just sorta assumed that photo JT had was of his wife or girlfriend. But after watching that episode, it's just so much more meaningful whenever you see it on his windshield. If it had been just a photo of his wife, it would've been completely ordinary and a throwaway detail. But him choosing to remind himself of the loss of Alice Noretti, someone he didn't even know all that well... just tells you what kind of a man he is.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
ExoSquad + Space Above and Beyond = Happy Day for Me!
eJust received the first season of ExoSquad on DVD and boy oh boy, this brings back so many fond memories. The show really holds up well, except for a few slight elements.
The greatest sci-fi war epic of all time, in saturday morning cartoon format. ExoSquad was not a funny series of hijinks and misunderstandings. Nor a treasure trove of pop culture references randomly inserted throughout. It was simply a dramatic and at times brutal account of the Second Neo Sapien War. For a saturday morning cartoon, this show took risks. Characters you'd grown to know and love could and would die. Entire populations were brought to starvation and slavery in concentration camps. And the most frightening aspect of all... mankind had pretty much brought this on itself. We were responsible for creating our own conquerors, the genetically engineered Neo Sapiens. Slaves who were now our slavemasters.
The show basically took World War II and transported it into the 22nd century, with sci-fi exoskeletons known as Exo-Frames. Basically, all the cool aspects of Starship Troopers, but with a much more relatable conflict. Instead of just blowing away anonymous bugs, we were fighting our own bitter creations, who were politically ruled by a megalomaniacal tyrant named Phaeton. I'll never forget the first season episode "The Brood" in which the ExoFleet, returning to Earth to liberate it from the occupying Neo Sapiens, ended up being overwhelmed by two Neo Sapien fleets. The flagship Resolute going down in flames as its lifeboats shot out and were blown apart by hostile fire is probably one of the most traumatic images of my childhood. Sure, I'd seen the Reliant get blown apart by the Enterprise in "Wrath of Khan" before then, but that was a ship full of escaped criminals and villains. They were trash. Seeing the Resolute, flagship of the entire Exofleet, the pride and joy of Admiral Winfield, slowly get ripped apart by laser fire and then explode with the traitorous Captain Marcus aboard invoked a curious mixture of horror, despair, and wonderment.
Now that I've grown up, I actually find that I can appreciate the series more, which is rarely the case with these saturday morning cartoons. But it's only now in my adult life that I find myself recognizing the subtle touches of the writers, like the state of the Neo Sapien people in the first few episodes resembling the state of Germany before World War 2. Or the problem of human collaborators working with the Neo Sapien occupation, just like the Vichy regime of France.
Here's a quote that I've found especially memorable. Only a mere taste of the excellence embued in this animated masterpiece.
Thrax: "I used to worry how I would face the end. Would I go bravely like a soldier? But let me tell you something, Neo Mega, it's life itself that matters, not how it ends. Each moment is a precious gift, if only we have the courage to accept it. That is where our duty lies, not in taking life, but in living it."
You can find the entire series on Hulu to watch.
BTW, I also picked up the Space Above and Beyond DVD set along with this, and I've gotta tell ya... Fox can go eat a dick. It's fucking awful. No extras, and double-sided discs. Who the fuck still thinks double-sided discs are a good idea? Still a great show, but the DVD treatment is some kind of Special Olympics.
The greatest sci-fi war epic of all time, in saturday morning cartoon format. ExoSquad was not a funny series of hijinks and misunderstandings. Nor a treasure trove of pop culture references randomly inserted throughout. It was simply a dramatic and at times brutal account of the Second Neo Sapien War. For a saturday morning cartoon, this show took risks. Characters you'd grown to know and love could and would die. Entire populations were brought to starvation and slavery in concentration camps. And the most frightening aspect of all... mankind had pretty much brought this on itself. We were responsible for creating our own conquerors, the genetically engineered Neo Sapiens. Slaves who were now our slavemasters.
The show basically took World War II and transported it into the 22nd century, with sci-fi exoskeletons known as Exo-Frames. Basically, all the cool aspects of Starship Troopers, but with a much more relatable conflict. Instead of just blowing away anonymous bugs, we were fighting our own bitter creations, who were politically ruled by a megalomaniacal tyrant named Phaeton. I'll never forget the first season episode "The Brood" in which the ExoFleet, returning to Earth to liberate it from the occupying Neo Sapiens, ended up being overwhelmed by two Neo Sapien fleets. The flagship Resolute going down in flames as its lifeboats shot out and were blown apart by hostile fire is probably one of the most traumatic images of my childhood. Sure, I'd seen the Reliant get blown apart by the Enterprise in "Wrath of Khan" before then, but that was a ship full of escaped criminals and villains. They were trash. Seeing the Resolute, flagship of the entire Exofleet, the pride and joy of Admiral Winfield, slowly get ripped apart by laser fire and then explode with the traitorous Captain Marcus aboard invoked a curious mixture of horror, despair, and wonderment.
Now that I've grown up, I actually find that I can appreciate the series more, which is rarely the case with these saturday morning cartoons. But it's only now in my adult life that I find myself recognizing the subtle touches of the writers, like the state of the Neo Sapien people in the first few episodes resembling the state of Germany before World War 2. Or the problem of human collaborators working with the Neo Sapien occupation, just like the Vichy regime of France.
Here's a quote that I've found especially memorable. Only a mere taste of the excellence embued in this animated masterpiece.
Thrax: "I used to worry how I would face the end. Would I go bravely like a soldier? But let me tell you something, Neo Mega, it's life itself that matters, not how it ends. Each moment is a precious gift, if only we have the courage to accept it. That is where our duty lies, not in taking life, but in living it."
You can find the entire series on Hulu to watch.
BTW, I also picked up the Space Above and Beyond DVD set along with this, and I've gotta tell ya... Fox can go eat a dick. It's fucking awful. No extras, and double-sided discs. Who the fuck still thinks double-sided discs are a good idea? Still a great show, but the DVD treatment is some kind of Special Olympics.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Nostalgia: Another Catchy 80s Show Intro
Evie was fucking hoooooot back in the day. Of course, being a child actress, she's probably either overweight or dead from an O.D. now.
Now, I was always confused... was that really Evie's father inside the glowy alien crystal thingy, or was it just a communication device? And if so, where the hell was Alien Burt Reynolds? Goddamn deadbeat...
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
The Greatest Animated Series of All Time
Here is my list of the greatest animated series of all time. Note that since yours truly is definitely a child of the early '90s, my pop culture tastes will reflect that. This all began when I skimmed through IGN's list of the top 100 animated series of all time and found it deeply lacking. Thus, I endeavored to compile my own list, reflecting reality as I see it. Those assholes at IGN did a dreadful job with their one hundred slots. For some reason, they decided to fill it with tons of lame stuff from the 70s. Seriously, what the fuck is DangerMouse? And the Smurfs? Goddamn lunatics. Well, without further ado...
The show basically took World War II and transported it into the 22nd century, with sci-fi exoskeletons known as Exo-Frames. Basically, all the cool aspects of Starship Troopers, but with a much more relatable conflict. Instead of just blowing away anonymous bugs, we were fighting our own bitter creations, who were politically ruled by a megalomaniacal tyrant named Phaeton. I'll never forget the first season episode "The Brood" in which the ExoFleet, returning to Earth to liberate it from the occupying Neo Sapiens, ended up being overwhelmed by two Neo Sapien fleets. The flagship Resolute going down in flames as its lifeboats shot out and were blown apart by hostile fire is probably one of the most traumatic images of my childhood. Sure, I'd seen the Reliant get blown apart by the Enterprise in "Wrath of Khan" before then, but that was a ship full of escaped criminals and villains. They were trash. Seeing the Resolute, flagship of the entire Exofleet, the pride and joy of Admiral Winfield, slowly get ripped apart by laser fire and then explode with the traitorous Captain Marcus aboard invoked a curious mixture of horror, despair, and wonderment.
Now that I've grown up, I actually find that I can appreciate the series more, which is rarely the case with these saturday morning cartoons. But it's only now in my adult life that I find myself recognizing the subtle touches of the writers, like the state of the Neo Sapien people in the first few episodes resembling the state of Germany before World War 2. Or the problem of human collaborators working with the Neo Sapien occupation, just like the Vichy regime of France.
Here's a quote that I've found especially memorable. Only a mere taste of the excellence embued in this animated masterpiece.
Thrax: "I used to worry how I would face the end. Would I go bravely like a soldier? But let me tell you something, Neo Mega, it's life itself that matters, not how it ends. Each moment is a precious gift, if only we have the courage to accept it. That is where our duty lies, not in taking life, but in living it."
3. TaleSpin
Disney's Afternoon Block was king in my after-school entertainment schedule. Two solid hours of animation, followed by the segue into Full House. And of all the excellent animated shows on that block, none has stuck with me like TaleSpin. Sure, you might be wondering to yourself WTF Disney was thinking with this concept... taking the characters of The Jungle Book and sticking them into a prewar 1930's seaside city named Cape Suzette? Baloo the bear piloting a cargo plane? Shere Khan the tiger as some corporate mogul who scratches his wooden armrest all the time?
While a bit odd at first glance, this dynamic absolutely worked in execution. Baloo was just as lovable an oaf as Homer Simpson, while his supporting cast of Kit Cloudkicker, Wildcat, and Rebecca Cunngingham were equally as entertaining and charismatic. And the 1930s Americana setting was warm and rich with interesting embellishments. G.I. Joe might have had their ground based fortresses but who didn't want an Iron Vulture as a child? It was the ultimate airborne war vessel, IMO.
I can easily name off dozens of memorable episodes which seemed to have that same old Disney magic which made the Mouse company a household name. My favorite one is probably the episode where Baloo and his friend Louie go off in search of treasure and a date with a damsel in distress in this ancient lost city of scarabs and magical wind chimes. The whole thing was quite sinister with the gigantic scarab gates of the desert city, while the alluring female archeologist probably turned me into a furry momentarily. Kinda felt like a lost Indiana Jones movie, honestly.
But hey, that's just one episode. What about the one where the air pirates build an enormous mirror in the sea to confuse and crash airplanes? Or the one where Baloo loses his memory and befriends a guardian angel? Or the one where gangsters hijack the Spruce Moose? Or the one where Howard Huge builds an enormous airwing out of the parts of various airplanes? Or the one where Kit frees a giant whale? Or the one where Wildcat finds a lost world of dinosaurs? Or the one where Kit goes off and joins a Soviet cadre? Or the one where Baloo competes against a robot pilot, the future of aviation? Or the one where Rebecca falls in love with a ghost captain on a flying Dutchman? See what I mean? This show had tons of amazing episodes, made with care and that high Disney craftmanship. Unfortunately, we won't see the likes of that again, I reckon.
4. Batman The Animated Series
The greatest superhero animated series, bar none. Batman had been given a fair shake on the big screen with Tim Burton's two films, but this cartoon was the real deal. Sure, you have to get past all the bad guys shooting their tommy guns but never managing to hit Batman, but that's a minor issue. The storytelling of this show was basically everything good that the comics had produced, with some stuff that was actually much better, encapsulated in 30 minute chunks. The pinnacle of which was my favorite episode "Heart of Ice", a near perfect example of animated entertainment. Here we get not just the best portrayal of Mr. Freeze, but the best sort of Batman story, the best episode of the show, and the best episode of superhero animation by far. I can't think of many television episodes which have made me cry, but this is one of them. To watch it and not shed a tear, you would almost certainly have to have a literal heart of ice.
So how come this series isn't higher on my list? Well, to put it simply... I hate Bruce Timm's art style. I can't stand it. The ridiculously huge chins and broad torsos... they just really looked odd to me. Also, the art deco style I was never crazy for. You have to remember, as a child watching this... it was very strange seeing people in old 1950's cars and riding in blimps while also seeing Batman fighting androids and artificial intelligence with lasers. So, it does have some flaws in my eyes. However, it's still really really high on my list because the writing and characterization were so amazing. Mr. Freeze wasn't the only character that the show used well. Other villains like Harvey Dent, Mad Hatter, Clayface, and Poison Ivy were utilized in dark and emotionally deep stories that were arguably superior to the comic books at the time. And the show also created wholly new adversaries like Baby Doll and HARDAC who were worthy foes for the Dark Knight. Simply put, this show is really fucking good. So good in fact, that even after the release of The Dark Knight, many fans still rate this show as their favorite portrayal of the Batman in any medium. That's high praise indeed.
5. BattleTech The Animated Series
The show which introduced me to the beautiful universe of BattleTech.
6. Futurama
Brilliant sci-fi comedy molded to look like The Simpsons.
7. X-Men The Animated Series
Marvel's first 90's cartoon, and the best.
Honorable Mentions:
The Bots Master
Eek! the Cat
Rug Rats
Kim Possible
Rescue Rangers
DarkWing Duck
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Muppet Babies
Spider-Man The Animated Series
Alvin and the Chipmunks
1. The Simpsons
Oh c'mon, you knew this was gonna be at the top. It's obvious. Don't deny it cause it's popular (despite the decline in quality over the years). The Simpsons defined mainstream network cartoons. Sure, I didn't immediately think of it either, but that's because when we think of cartoons, we generally think of saturday morning or afternoon fare. The Simpsons on the other hand is clearly late night adult entertainment. The great granddaddy of stuff we all take for granted now like South Park, Futurama, Adult Swim, and yes, Family Guy. Bart Simpson was the rebel without a cause for an entire generation of young people and "Eat my shorts" was enshrined in pop culture forever. While it's steadily gone down the shitter after season 9, we can always look back at those cherished reruns when Mindy was seducing Homer with room service and Bart still made prank phone calls to Moe's.2. ExoSquad
The greatest sci-fi war epic of all time, in saturday morning cartoon format. ExoSquad was no funny series of hijinks and misunderstandings. Nor a treasure trove of pop culture references randomly inserted throughout. It was simply a dramatic and at times brutal account of the Second Neo Sapien War. For a saturday morning cartoon, this show took risks. Characters you'd grown to know and love could and would die. Entire populations were brought to starvation and slavery in concentration camps. And the most frightening aspect of all... mankind had pretty much brought this on itself. We were responsible for creating our own conquerors, the genetically engineered Neo Sapiens. Slaves who were now our slavemasters.The show basically took World War II and transported it into the 22nd century, with sci-fi exoskeletons known as Exo-Frames. Basically, all the cool aspects of Starship Troopers, but with a much more relatable conflict. Instead of just blowing away anonymous bugs, we were fighting our own bitter creations, who were politically ruled by a megalomaniacal tyrant named Phaeton. I'll never forget the first season episode "The Brood" in which the ExoFleet, returning to Earth to liberate it from the occupying Neo Sapiens, ended up being overwhelmed by two Neo Sapien fleets. The flagship Resolute going down in flames as its lifeboats shot out and were blown apart by hostile fire is probably one of the most traumatic images of my childhood. Sure, I'd seen the Reliant get blown apart by the Enterprise in "Wrath of Khan" before then, but that was a ship full of escaped criminals and villains. They were trash. Seeing the Resolute, flagship of the entire Exofleet, the pride and joy of Admiral Winfield, slowly get ripped apart by laser fire and then explode with the traitorous Captain Marcus aboard invoked a curious mixture of horror, despair, and wonderment.
Now that I've grown up, I actually find that I can appreciate the series more, which is rarely the case with these saturday morning cartoons. But it's only now in my adult life that I find myself recognizing the subtle touches of the writers, like the state of the Neo Sapien people in the first few episodes resembling the state of Germany before World War 2. Or the problem of human collaborators working with the Neo Sapien occupation, just like the Vichy regime of France.
Here's a quote that I've found especially memorable. Only a mere taste of the excellence embued in this animated masterpiece.
Thrax: "I used to worry how I would face the end. Would I go bravely like a soldier? But let me tell you something, Neo Mega, it's life itself that matters, not how it ends. Each moment is a precious gift, if only we have the courage to accept it. That is where our duty lies, not in taking life, but in living it."
3. TaleSpin
Disney's Afternoon Block was king in my after-school entertainment schedule. Two solid hours of animation, followed by the segue into Full House. And of all the excellent animated shows on that block, none has stuck with me like TaleSpin. Sure, you might be wondering to yourself WTF Disney was thinking with this concept... taking the characters of The Jungle Book and sticking them into a prewar 1930's seaside city named Cape Suzette? Baloo the bear piloting a cargo plane? Shere Khan the tiger as some corporate mogul who scratches his wooden armrest all the time?
While a bit odd at first glance, this dynamic absolutely worked in execution. Baloo was just as lovable an oaf as Homer Simpson, while his supporting cast of Kit Cloudkicker, Wildcat, and Rebecca Cunngingham were equally as entertaining and charismatic. And the 1930s Americana setting was warm and rich with interesting embellishments. G.I. Joe might have had their ground based fortresses but who didn't want an Iron Vulture as a child? It was the ultimate airborne war vessel, IMO.
I can easily name off dozens of memorable episodes which seemed to have that same old Disney magic which made the Mouse company a household name. My favorite one is probably the episode where Baloo and his friend Louie go off in search of treasure and a date with a damsel in distress in this ancient lost city of scarabs and magical wind chimes. The whole thing was quite sinister with the gigantic scarab gates of the desert city, while the alluring female archeologist probably turned me into a furry momentarily. Kinda felt like a lost Indiana Jones movie, honestly.
But hey, that's just one episode. What about the one where the air pirates build an enormous mirror in the sea to confuse and crash airplanes? Or the one where Baloo loses his memory and befriends a guardian angel? Or the one where gangsters hijack the Spruce Moose? Or the one where Howard Huge builds an enormous airwing out of the parts of various airplanes? Or the one where Kit frees a giant whale? Or the one where Wildcat finds a lost world of dinosaurs? Or the one where Kit goes off and joins a Soviet cadre? Or the one where Baloo competes against a robot pilot, the future of aviation? Or the one where Rebecca falls in love with a ghost captain on a flying Dutchman? See what I mean? This show had tons of amazing episodes, made with care and that high Disney craftmanship. Unfortunately, we won't see the likes of that again, I reckon.
4. Batman The Animated Series
The greatest superhero animated series, bar none. Batman had been given a fair shake on the big screen with Tim Burton's two films, but this cartoon was the real deal. Sure, you have to get past all the bad guys shooting their tommy guns but never managing to hit Batman, but that's a minor issue. The storytelling of this show was basically everything good that the comics had produced, with some stuff that was actually much better, encapsulated in 30 minute chunks. The pinnacle of which was my favorite episode "Heart of Ice", a near perfect example of animated entertainment. Here we get not just the best portrayal of Mr. Freeze, but the best sort of Batman story, the best episode of the show, and the best episode of superhero animation by far. I can't think of many television episodes which have made me cry, but this is one of them. To watch it and not shed a tear, you would almost certainly have to have a literal heart of ice.
So how come this series isn't higher on my list? Well, to put it simply... I hate Bruce Timm's art style. I can't stand it. The ridiculously huge chins and broad torsos... they just really looked odd to me. Also, the art deco style I was never crazy for. You have to remember, as a child watching this... it was very strange seeing people in old 1950's cars and riding in blimps while also seeing Batman fighting androids and artificial intelligence with lasers. So, it does have some flaws in my eyes. However, it's still really really high on my list because the writing and characterization were so amazing. Mr. Freeze wasn't the only character that the show used well. Other villains like Harvey Dent, Mad Hatter, Clayface, and Poison Ivy were utilized in dark and emotionally deep stories that were arguably superior to the comic books at the time. And the show also created wholly new adversaries like Baby Doll and HARDAC who were worthy foes for the Dark Knight. Simply put, this show is really fucking good. So good in fact, that even after the release of The Dark Knight, many fans still rate this show as their favorite portrayal of the Batman in any medium. That's high praise indeed.
5. BattleTech The Animated Series
The show which introduced me to the beautiful universe of BattleTech.
6. Futurama
Brilliant sci-fi comedy molded to look like The Simpsons.
7. X-Men The Animated Series
Marvel's first 90's cartoon, and the best.
Honorable Mentions:
The Bots Master
Eek! the Cat
Rug Rats
Kim Possible
Rescue Rangers
DarkWing Duck
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Muppet Babies
Spider-Man The Animated Series
Alvin and the Chipmunks
Monday, January 12, 2009
Star Trek: The one romance I was actually interested in.
WTF ever happened to Picard and Crusher's romantic subplot? Seven seasons, and it pretty much went nowhere. Sure, they stuck in that lame "Attached" episode at the end to sorta appease us, but it was too little too late IMO. Here's what I wish Picard had said:
"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Beverly, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."
Yes, Chasing Amy is the fucking shit.
"I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship but I had to say it, 'cause I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there's a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. And all I ask, please, is that you just - you just not dismiss that, and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Beverly, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."
Yes, Chasing Amy is the fucking shit.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Nostalgia: Early 90's Marvel cartoons had amazing intros.
Is it just me, or were the early 90s a great time for kid's cartoons? You had Saturday morning cartoons about scifi war like ExoSquad or BattleTech, and then the Disney afternoon block with stuff like Duck Tales, TaleSpin, Gargoyles, and Darkwing Duck. And of course, we also had the Marvel animated series, namely the X-Men TAS, Spider-Man TAS, and Iron Man TAS. The funny thing is, all of those early Marvel shows have now had replacement series pop up. While I haven't watched these new millenium newcomers and can't comment on their content quality, I feel I am justified in saying that... well, the intros for the early 90s shows are far far superior. Just watch and be reminded of how fucking catchy those were.
X-Men TAS (1992): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6KPt-QKDFU
Wolverine and the X-Men (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juasmfRK-_w
Spider-Man TAS (1994): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4w3kgoE_Cc
The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S19w2xXU54
Iron Man TAS (1994): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfWPDzvWNds
Iron Man Armored Adventures (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr0AAqRxwBQ
X-Men TAS (1992): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s6KPt-QKDFU
Wolverine and the X-Men (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juasmfRK-_w
Spider-Man TAS (1994): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4w3kgoE_Cc
The Spectacular Spider-Man (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S19w2xXU54
Iron Man TAS (1994): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfWPDzvWNds
Iron Man Armored Adventures (2008): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yr0AAqRxwBQ
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