Sunday, May 9, 2010

I really don't like this tipping business

How do you feel about tips? Call me crazy, but I am totally not in favor of the tip system currently in place in our fair nation. It's just such a hassle. I think it'd be so much better all around if we just had a regular wage for waiters and got rid of tipping.

I mean, you've gotta do the math at the end of the meal... figure out what's 15%. And maybe there's some rule about dinner tips being larger then lunch or breakfast tips. You've gotta figure out if you're going to write in the little receipt or pay the tip in cash. If you don't use a credit card, you've gotta get correct change for your tip... it's just an annoyance. And the tip these days ends up being more like a kickback. Instead of paying them extra for great service or something, you're just paying them not to spit in your food the next time you visit.

Ya see, I really screwed the pooch with tips lately. First, there's a visit to this taqueria. They make good tacos. I end up making the wrong calculation and figure out my tip wasn't quite 15%. That's not so great. I feel bad about that. So then, the next time I visit, I figure out ahead of time that I'm gonna pay a bit more on the tip. That'll make up for the first tip. So I give a generous tip and as I'm walking back to the car, it hits me that I actually ordered fewer tacos then the first visit. So the tip ended up being really huge. And now, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be expected to give something like that again the next time I go to that restaurant. Ya know, maybe she'll be pissed off if she sees a decline in the tipping trend. I dunno what to think. It's a crazy system.

And ya know, it just... it seems very hard to actually provide outstanding service as a waiter in the first place. It doesn't seem like something that's actually noticeable. Cause it's a very simple job... you take my order, and then you deliver the food. There's no real room for performance excellence in something that straightforward, ya know? So why would anyone pay more then the usual 15%? Unless they go down on their knees and pleasure me or something, I can't see any way they could go above and beyond the call of duty of waitering. Now, maybe the cook could be commended for cooking the food in an outstanding fashion. I can see that happening, some cooks are better then others. That might deserve a tip. But not so much for waiters.

I will tell you, I absolutely hate it when waiters come around while you're happily eating your meal and ask you if you're ok. Or they ask you how you're doing. Something like that. It just irks me. I know they mean well, but uh... it's just not something I welcome. Cause if I'm eating my food, obviously everything is going ok and there's no reason to ask. And if something were not ok, I wouldn't just wait around for the waiter to come around and ask, I'd probably raise my hand to get their attention and remedy the situation. Them asking me does nothing but interrupt me while I'm eating. It's just bizarre. I dunno why they do it. If they think that's going to get em a bigger tip, it's a poor idea.

What if the restaurant just raises the price on everything on the menu? I'd be all for that. Everything just costs a little more, but no more worries about mathematical calculations or people spitting in your food. Well, less of a worry about people spitting in your food.

I hear Europe doesn't do any tipping.

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