You don't have tv, do you?
Well, if you wanna watch some streaming, you should try http://www.justin.tv
They've got quite a selection.
I just watched a couple hours of Seinfeld.
That show's really funny.
Are you bored?
I'm sorta bored.
We should do something.
Nah, nothing gay.
I'm tired of masturbating.
Already masturbated three times today.
It was tiring.
You know what sucks?
When you keep masturbating at the end but there's nothing left coming out.
It feels unsatisfying.
Like you're not living up to your end of the bargain.
Cause the porn's right there on the screen, and it's hot, but you can't give anymore.
And once it's over, it's suddenly unappealing.
And then the guilt starts creeping in.
You know what I'm talking about.
Don't you watch porn?
You must've encountered the guilt.
I dunno, I feel guilty.
Cause I've cum, so it's all done with.
The desire's all gone, I'm just spent... and then I feel shame and guilt cause... I start thinking about the porn stars. And how they must've screwed up their lives and this isn't how they planned on making a living.
And whether or not they were molested by any family members.
And it's sad that I'm deriving pleasure from their shameful profession.
I can't help it.
I guess I'm just a sensitive human being.
When I'm not horny.
It's just so depressing, those poor pornstars.
What must their parents think.
They can't be proud of their child's profession.
They might be estranged.
And yet I'm whacking off to it.
Did you ever have any pets?
You know what I really don't like?
When animals are forced against their will and neutered.
That seems pretty messed up.
Animals getting castrated too.
That's even worse.
They're getting violated in their nether regions.
But we don't want unwanted little baby animals.
Well, I think I have a solution.
So that we can avoid the unwanted offspring, while also foregoing the neutering process.
Because those are both awful options.
We just have to use animal condoms.
I mean, when you see your dog about to mate with a bitch, you just fit a condom over them.
And that'll work splendidly.
You'll only have to watch your dog when you take him outside, which is when they'll meet other dogs to mate with.
It won't be that bad.
Owning a pet's a lot of responsibility, you know that.
Using condoms is the best way to prevent pregnancy while also preserving an animal's dignity and biological integrity.
I think PETA should endorse it.
You'd just be slipping the condom on.
Because the dog isn't capable of doing it himself.
You scoop up your dog's shit, it's the same thing.
And besides, it's no different from washing your dog.
Just another aspect of pet ownership.
Well, this condom idea is for all sorts of animals, not just dogs.
We're out to save all pets from being neutered.
Cats will need smaller condoms, I guess.
We won't have to worry about condoms if dogs fuck cats though.
Cause that's interspecies, and they won't make babies.
Though it'd be cool if they could.
You'd get some weird hybrid.
Animals need condoms. It's the right thing to do.
Human condoms won't work.
We'll need to manufacture all new sorts of condoms to fit animal dicks.
Cause I've read that dogs have a penis that actually expands into a balloon.
To keep the bitch tied to them.
It's quite fascinating.
And can you imagine dog condoms flavored like peanut butter?
That would make a lot of sense.
So the condom would need to expand with the knot.
Don't you think that's weird?
Like, if some guy decided to fuck a female dog, would the dog feel unsatisfied?
Cause the guy's penis doesn't expand at all?
That would be kind of a letdown, doncha think?