Saturday, April 11, 2009

Quick Time Events can go to hell.

If puns are the lowest form of humor, then Quick Time Events are the lowest form of gameplay. Seriously, who thought these would ever be a good idea? Pushing a button that flashes on screen at a certain point to watch a scripted cinematic? What is this bullshit? That's barely gameplay. Barely. The barest form.

When I want to play a PC game, I want to interact with the game more then simply pushing down a button when I'm given the fucking cue. That's just fucking Simon Says. If I want to play Simon Says, I'll go out and buy one of those lame ass pads with the four colored buttons on it that you set down on a coffee table and invite the whole family to play, like in one of those ridiculous commercials. I do not want that experience when playing a computer game. There is nothing fun about pressing a button every once in a while. If you're gonna show a cinematic, just fucking show it, without a giant red button in the center ruining it.

Gamers can handle cinematic gameplay, they really can. And it's been pulled off in lots of great ways without QTEs. Just look at Half-Life... very cinematic, very immersive. Or something like Knights of the Old Republic. Great gameplay and storytelling merged together. No fucking QTEs to be seen. It's possible, game developers. You just need to stop being lazy and actually work a little. Quick Time Events are inane, unsatisfying, and completely shallow. No. More. Fucking. Button. Cues.

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